Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:00 Do you wanna hear my impersonation of a bee? For those of us that don't have the Patreon exclusive, that aren't getting the footage. Just so we know, Holly is pouring a leader size Svedka bottle, flavor original, into a wine glass and she's going at it raw. It came out of her room. Mind you, it is unrefrigerated and she's sipping casually as if it were a nice morning, crisp glass of water. It's like, I want to take a shot. But you didn't make it look very appetizing.
Speaker 1 00:00:30 You know the deal, you gotta suffer.
Speaker 0 00:00:32 We don't have any juice? We never have juice. We're not a juice house.
Speaker 1 00:00:35 I have honey.
Speaker 0 00:00:36 The thought of that makes me want to vomit. Okay, I want a shot.
Speaker 1 00:00:40 Are you gonna do It?
Speaker 0 00:00:40 I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 1 00:00:41 You want a shot glass? Maybe it'll make it easier
Speaker 0 00:00:43 If I perceive it as like a good time, you know?
Speaker 1 00:00:46 Okay. Alright. So what are we doing here? I'm gonna go ahead and not breathe into the mic
Speaker 0 00:00:52 For all of us that are wondering if Holly is taping underwater. The answer is no. You're like, what are we doing here? Oh, <laugh>. Okay. I'm taking a shot.
Speaker 1 00:01:03 What do we call this?
Speaker 0 00:01:04 What goes down in 1R?
Speaker 1 00:01:06 What goes down in 1R, with Holly and Michael,
Speaker 0 00:01:08 Welcome back to another episode and by another episode, I mean our very first episode.
Speaker 1 00:01:12 And this will be our little diary of our observations
Speaker 0 00:01:17 As human beings on this planet.
Speaker 1 00:01:19 Because, we have a lot of opinions and we think they matter.
Speaker 2 00:01:22 *Intro: Oh My God, we're rolling. If she starts now, she's never gonna finish. Humza, I will fuck you up. We're fine, it's fine. The jobs the economy. For, 10 minutes now. Maybe you should ask yourself if you're the problem. Um, he has some, he has some issues, Um. Do I need to tone it down? Do I need to tone everything down?
Speaker 1 00:01:55 Don't you hate, Michael, when you tell someone something and they respond like, oh sweetie pie, oh,
Speaker 0 00:02:01 Poor thing.
Speaker 1 00:02:04 <laugh>. This is made
Speaker 1 00:02:06 Me so sad that like you're sad.
Speaker 0 00:02:08 The fact that you are going through something is my problem and I just need you to know that I'm affected by it. Raise your hand if you hate people who call themselves empaths.
Speaker 1 00:02:18 I hate that word. If you're not an empath, you're a sociopath. <laugh>, right?
Speaker 0 00:02:22 <laugh>. No, but that's what they're saying. When someone says I'm an empath, what they're really saying is, hi sociopath, high emotionless weirdo. That's what I hear. But
Speaker 1 00:02:30 They say it like some sort of like magic. It's almost equivalent to I'm a wizard. The
Speaker 0 00:02:34 Fact that you are capable of understanding human emotion that makes you some type of celestial being,
Speaker 1 00:02:39 Wait, I'm gonna search up with the definition of empathy. Go
Speaker 0 00:02:42 Ahead. While she does that, I'm gonna make myself a little shot of this $10 fed bottle because we are living a large in apartment one R.
Speaker 1 00:02:50 Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, pretty much a standard human experience. I don't know, can you call it an emotion?
Speaker 0 00:02:58 If I look at someone and they're crying, I go, oh, she's sad. It doesn't take a special witchy ability.
Speaker 1 00:03:04 I'm switching the meaning of an empath. Let's see. Maybe we got it all wrong. Which is
Speaker 0 00:03:08 Possible
Speaker 1 00:03:09 Chiefly in science fiction. <laugh> a person. I feel like I'm hearing a lot of C.
Speaker 0 00:03:14 Get into it. Get into the P of it all. All right.
Speaker 1 00:03:17 Chiefly in science fiction, a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual. What's with the paranormal? Say <laugh>. I love that. <laugh>. I love that dictionary uses paranormal in this statement. Google got
Speaker 0 00:03:32 Set
Speaker 1 00:03:33 Chiefly in science fiction. Why are we making science fiction about a thing that already exists in most people considered mentally stable? People
Speaker 0 00:03:41 Wanna feel unique and special. I can't blame them, but you know, can
Speaker 1 00:03:44 We say that if you are an empath, you're actually selfish
Speaker 0 00:03:49 <laugh>? Yeah. To take someone else's emotions and make them your own. It's a pretty selfish act.
Speaker 1 00:03:55 Wow. That is what it is. So this is the thing I feel, cuz I have a lot of opinions and maybe that makes me an obnoxious person. It does, but, but here they are. Ultimately what it does is it puts the attention on you rather than the person who needs the hand in
Speaker 0 00:04:10 Some type of paranormal display of, you know, the ego of the ego. Something an empath says is, why are you standing? Can you sit? You're making me feel uncomfortable. No, I'm gonna continue standing. Yeah. Have you ever been in that situation where a group of people are sitting and you're standing and they go, you're making me feel uncomfortable. Can you just sit? Mm.
Speaker 1 00:04:30 I feel like I feel them because, well,
Speaker 0 00:04:32 You should look inward <laugh>
Speaker 1 00:04:34 Because I think that sometimes it gives the vibe of like, you're ready to leave. And I'm like, I'm not ready for you to leave yet. So you need to sit. What
Speaker 0 00:04:41 Is that you projecting? No,
Speaker 1 00:04:42 It's my attachment to whoever's standing there ready to leave.
Speaker 0 00:04:46 Because nine times outta 10, if I'm stand, I don't wanna leave. I just wanna stand. Sometimes my legs have a little buzzing energy and then I just need to stand. Or it could be the reverse. If everyone's standing and I sit, get up. Can you get up?
Speaker 1 00:04:55 Yeah, but then that's you projecting <laugh>.
Speaker 0 00:04:57 All right then I'll look inward. I'll look inward on that one.
Speaker 1 00:04:59 I don't like it when I sit on the floor and people are like, oh, oh, you sit in my, it's usually men sit in my chair, whatever. I'm like, no, it's fine. I'm very comfortable on the floor. I like the floor. I
Speaker 0 00:05:09 Like the floor too.
Speaker 1 00:05:10 And then if I get up and sit in your chair, that means that you're either standing or you have to sit on the floor, which obviously you don't like the floor because you didn't want me on the floor. And that makes me uncomfortable now that I put you in uncomfort. So no, I'm gonna stand on the floor to all the men who may be listening. Don't offer your chair and also
Speaker 0 00:05:25 Don't offer your jacket. I guess it's one thing if you're like on a date with someone or whatever, but like this goes for boys, girls, everything in between. Whoever you are, can you dress appropriately for the weather? Because I don't want to take my jacket off and give it to you because you didn't dress appropriately and now I'm cold. Can you do the world favor and look at your weather app? Do you know that this is 2023 that we're recording in? We have little computers in our pockets at all time that tell us the weather for the day. There is no reason you should be in a tank top in February. There is no reason. And if you do, you know hose don't get cold, that's fierce. Go out there and shiver fabulously. Don't ask for someone's coat. I
Speaker 1 00:05:59 Don't even, do people ask for someone's coat or they do the They do. Oh fuck I'm, they
Speaker 0 00:06:02 Go, oh no. If only I had a lovely jacket on like yours, that would be so wonderful.
Speaker 1 00:06:10 Oh no, I do that. And then whenever I'm like, oh my god, it's brick titties. Do you want my jacket? No, I just, I just wanted to complain out loud.
Speaker 0 00:06:16 Right? Let me complain. Don't offer me a solution. Right.
Speaker 1 00:06:19 I just wanted to say it. Now it's turned into a hole. Like, ah, no, no, no. I don't wanna take your thing from you. You did the right thing by having a jacket. I didn't. I'm willing to suffer but just let me complain about it
Speaker 0 00:06:30 And I'm gonna watch you suffer with my jacket on <laugh>. I'm gonna enjoy it. Do you have to
Speaker 1 00:06:34 Deal with
Speaker 0 00:06:34 That though? Not really, but you know, you deal with it once. It's once too much in my opinion.
Speaker 1 00:06:38 Did you have to deal with it with like pattern?
Speaker 0 00:06:40 I take it back. I do deal with it a lot more. So when I was young, but it wasn't in the form of gimme your coat, it was in the form of oh, let's go out for a picnic, let's go out for a hike and then all my friends dress inappropriately and then go, oh, it's too cold. Can we go back inside? No, we signed up to go outside and go for a picnic. Go for a hike. You didn't bring a jacket. So now I have to pivot. We have to go sit on the floor inside and watch tv. No, we're going on a hike. Bring a jacket. You know? Yeah. Welcome back to the podcast where we complain about very mundane behavioral patterns. We've noticed some people,
Speaker 1 00:07:07 Whatever Larry David didn't and
Speaker 0 00:07:09 He made a lot of money, right?
Speaker 1 00:07:10 I mean, most of us secretly agree with Larry David,
Speaker 0 00:07:13 I wanna be Larry David. I
Speaker 1 00:07:14 Want him to be like my uncle <laugh>, my great
Speaker 0 00:07:16 Uncle. I want him to be my husband. For those of us listening on our commute to work, have a wonderful day at work. Go ahead and stop into a Starbucks. Pick yourself up a little something special
Speaker 1 00:07:26 Or don't if you're broke cuz it's like $8 for a coffee. It's
Speaker 0 00:07:30 True. I will spend my last $8 Be
Speaker 1 00:07:32 Better. <laugh>
Speaker 0 00:07:33 Be better. How
Speaker 1 00:07:34 About just try and be better? What's my main message to the world? Uh, stop thinking about yourself. That feels too general.
Speaker 0 00:07:41 How about this? Change everything about the fabric of what makes you you so that I feel more comfortable. <laugh> <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:07:50 I love that.
