Episode 14

February 14, 2024

01:10:42

#14 - SMALL TALK

#14 - SMALL TALK
Perturbed
#14 - SMALL TALK

Feb 14 2024 | 01:10:42

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Show Notes

Join us for a date with special guest Kira Ecay.

How are you?
Wonderful weather we’re having.
Do me a small favor and list everything that makes you, you.

We’re making small talk today here in Apartment 1R.
The vibe is stale libraries and dusty carpets.
Next time a coworker asks, “How are you?” tell them you’re perturbed and come on down to Apt 1R and let it all hang out for the premiere of Season 3.

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Speaker A: But to another. Welcome back to another episode of what goes. No, it's not what we called the name of our part of our show. [00:00:14] Speaker B: Welcome back. [00:00:16] Speaker A: Hi. This is a safe space for those of us with no patients left in our body. This is a space where we could come and just be real nasty. Shit talk, bitches. So, Holly, I want to know what perturbs you. [00:00:28] Speaker B: Well, what perturbs me is going to be a small library in Tribeca. A stale daycare. That's what the vibe was. [00:00:36] Speaker C: What does stale daycare mean? [00:00:37] Speaker B: You just have to get it. [00:00:40] Speaker C: The air is, like, stale. [00:00:42] Speaker A: Walk us through it. [00:00:43] Speaker B: Think Dusty. Think cardboard. [00:00:45] Speaker A: Cinder blocks. [00:00:46] Speaker B: Like, old carpets. They haven't been cleaned in a long time. Think of those school ceilings. [00:00:52] Speaker A: It's a drop ceiling that's half stained. One of them is pissing tiles up. You just see through to, like, a metal sheet ceiling above it. [00:00:59] Speaker B: Okay, so here's the scenario. [00:01:01] Speaker A: Why, at what point were you in the still daycare? [00:01:03] Speaker B: Yeah, I was in a library. Okay, so there was an old lady and a librarian. Old lady, adorable librarian, first grade teacher who takes her job too seriously. These are the characters. This is what I caught. They're trying to figure something out at the printer. The old lady made a suggestion, and the librarian goes, I can't do that. And then the lady's like, the other librarian did it. Then the librarian was like, well, that's against the rules. And then the lady's like, break the rules. And then the librarian's like, I'm not breaking the rules. And that's the story. [00:01:35] Speaker A: What perturbs you is? [00:01:36] Speaker B: What perturbs me is the librarian. [00:01:39] Speaker C: I was going to say the librarian is valid. [00:01:41] Speaker A: No, I was almost feeling that for a second until it got the rules. [00:01:45] Speaker C: I don't care. I don't care what someone else did. Oh, this person did this for me. I don't care. [00:01:49] Speaker A: Yeah, because I see it, like, when I'm at work and someone's like, can I get a togo cup? For example? I'm like, I'm legally not allowed to give you that. They're like, well, the other bartender did it. Well, the other bartender's not here, Susan. [00:01:58] Speaker B: I do get that, but she's an old lady. She's gonna die soon. Just give her the. You. What is she trying to print, like, one piece of paper? What's going on here that you're being such a bitch? And also, it was the attitude. Think about the attitude. That was an important part of the story. [00:02:13] Speaker C: Is she asking for something simple, like, yeah, you could easily. [00:02:16] Speaker B: Do this for her. [00:02:16] Speaker C: Or is she asking you to break your rules, possibly get fired from your job? [00:02:21] Speaker A: Or. She was trying to fax something. [00:02:23] Speaker B: It's a library. Have you guys been in one recently? Because if you have, you would know that they're like a dying institution. Nobody's there checking up on them. I feel like they can break the rules sometimes. And also, this lady was. She was cute about it. She cracked a smile and she said, break the rules. [00:02:40] Speaker A: Love her. No, I love her. [00:02:41] Speaker B: She was adorable. And she was struggling with something she didn't understand. The librarian came to help, but instead of helping and being nice, she had an attitude. Like, this is my profession and I'm not going to break it. And it's like, your profession is what? Being in this stale, dusty, boring ass library? [00:02:59] Speaker A: I don't go to libraries. But I will say that it's not the CSI. You're not decoding a bomb. Like, relax. It's not blue wire, red wire. [00:03:09] Speaker B: And respect your seniors. Yeah, it's her thinking that she needs respect because she's the librarian. [00:03:16] Speaker C: No, it depends on context. I feel like, what was this lady asking? To what degree is this not okay for the librarian? Or is the librarian just like. No. [00:03:26] Speaker B: Imagine a camp counselor or a teacher. [00:03:30] Speaker A: Imagine PTA mom energy of like, well, Brenda, that's not the way we do things around here. Yes, I'm the head of the city council, and they wouldn't want to get a word of this, or you'll lose your job and starve to death as a 98 year old woman. [00:03:42] Speaker B: Right. There's some air in people who work with children. Right. You do not talk to people who've lived years past your age like that. They are not children. They are adults wise. [00:03:57] Speaker C: Live through shit. The old lady was not the librarian. [00:04:01] Speaker B: She was not the librarian. Just like a 30 year old bitch. That's the rules. Sort of. No, I just made it sound kind of cool. And she didn't sound like that. She sounded like kindergarten teacher is baby. [00:04:18] Speaker A: Talking old people, because that perturbs me. [00:04:20] Speaker B: And it's a little bit of you taking your job serious enough to do so. And she was cute. She was like, break the rules. [00:04:28] Speaker C: It is cute of an old lady. I thought it was the other way around. [00:04:31] Speaker A: You thought it was some old shrew working at the library? Like, get away from my computer? [00:04:35] Speaker B: No, it was the librarian coming over to help the lady. [00:04:38] Speaker C: What did she need? [00:04:39] Speaker A: She was printing out a letter from her grandson. [00:04:41] Speaker C: I want to know, what did she need? [00:04:43] Speaker B: You know what? I'm going to be honest, I have no idea. This is the first line that I got, and that's when I started tuning in. [00:04:48] Speaker A: Oh, I love that you typed it down. [00:04:49] Speaker B: So I wrote down, the old lady made a suggestion, so I don't know how I came up with that, but I must have just made an inference. So this is the first quote. I can't do that. Well, the other librarian did it. Well, that's against the rules. Break the rules. You're not working for a private business. You're working for a public institution. Her taxes are paying you are employing you. So don't be a cunt. And don't speak to a lady that way because she has years above you, so don't treat her like a child. That is what perturbs me. And in going further on, that note of younger people talking to just grown, wise human beings like their children is weird. [00:05:35] Speaker A: It's so weird. [00:05:35] Speaker B: And we need to stop that. [00:05:37] Speaker A: Enough with the baby talk. [00:05:38] Speaker B: It's just the air about this woman that it very much gave the impression to me that it didn't matter what the rule was. It could have been the stupidest little thing that wouldn't affect her job, wouldn't affect her life, but she needed to protect the rules. [00:05:53] Speaker C: What could she possibly be asking for in a library that is breaking the rules? What are the rules in a library? [00:05:59] Speaker B: That's what saying, like, it was just her essence. I can't stand those people. [00:06:04] Speaker A: PTA mom energy. [00:06:05] Speaker B: Which goes back to PTA mom energy, but sometimes it exists, even in their teenage years. If you've been a camp counselor or. [00:06:13] Speaker A: A babysitter, and that's fine, but don't talk to me like I'm a two year old because you want a baby. [00:06:19] Speaker B: Yeah. No, but they want a baby just to be a tyrant. I hate it. [00:06:24] Speaker A: Right? [00:06:25] Speaker B: Like, wouldn't she be a tyrant? She would go on field trips with the kids and be really bothered. [00:06:29] Speaker A: She's a chaperone. Mom. [00:06:32] Speaker C: PTA mom. [00:06:33] Speaker A: Yes. [00:06:33] Speaker B: PTA mom. [00:06:35] Speaker A: They are a mother, not only to their children, but to the entire world around them. We have a very special guest on the pod. Hey, Kira Eke. What's good? Can I ask you something? [00:07:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:07:06] Speaker A: How are you? [00:07:07] Speaker C: I'm great, but I hate that question. [00:07:13] Speaker A: The topic for today is, how are you? [00:07:16] Speaker C: How are you? [00:07:17] Speaker A: How are things? [00:07:18] Speaker B: Hey, how are you? [00:07:19] Speaker C: How are you? Good. [00:07:19] Speaker A: How's everything? Good. Want to know what? Can't complain. Can't complain. Well, guess what? I can complain. [00:07:25] Speaker B: I heard that things have been tough because of this divorce. [00:07:30] Speaker C: Yeah. If you want to talk about that? I'm all for it. [00:07:32] Speaker A: Yes. He said, like, that's juicy gossip. Yeah, but we're talking small talk. We're doing small talk on the pod today. How are you? [00:07:40] Speaker C: Are you. [00:07:42] Speaker A: What a disgusting question to ask somebody. [00:07:46] Speaker B: What's a good answer to what I always say is? [00:07:49] Speaker A: And then I let one of my eyes twitch. [00:07:52] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:07:52] Speaker B: Because deep in my soul, I'm like, not good. [00:07:56] Speaker A: Because here's the thing. When you ask someone, how are you? You're asking them to do one of two things. No, three things. Either say that they're good and just, like, throw their happiness around in everybody's faces and throw their success in everybody's faces. Yeah, that's number one. Number two, you're asking them to lie. Good. Hungover, disgusting bank account, zero. Twitching eye. Good. Sane. On the shirt. I'm good. How are you? Or three, you're asking them to make everyone in the room feel uncomfortable when you say, thoughts of death are creeping in. I'm unwell. How are you? [00:08:28] Speaker C: Well, actually, my dog died this weekend, so not so good. It's like, oh, man, I didn't want to know that. [00:08:33] Speaker A: Well, then why'd you ask me? [00:08:35] Speaker B: So that is a conflict in my mind. [00:08:38] Speaker C: Yeah. What does it mean then? [00:08:39] Speaker B: If you don't want to know how, say, hi. [00:08:41] Speaker C: Yeah. You saying, how are you? Is you making small talk? If I respond, making other small talk about what might happen to be going on in my life. [00:08:49] Speaker B: Because I hate it when I'm saying when. I'm just passing coworkers in the morning, hey, how are you? Can we just do the high thing? Because then I have to ask, how are you back? And I don't want to. That just makes it too complicated for my brain that doesn't know how to simplify things and move on. [00:09:05] Speaker A: I have a confession to make. Can I make a confession? Is this a safe space, maybe. Listener. Are you going to forgive me? No. [00:09:12] Speaker B: You don't say it back. [00:09:13] Speaker A: No. Worse, I'm that coworker that says, hey, how are you? I do it because the world has told me I need to do it. I don't do it because I want to do it. I do it because I feel like I'll be rude if I don't. Hi, how are you? To every single. And I work in a building with 900,000 employees that I walk past every day. [00:09:29] Speaker C: Oh, God. [00:09:29] Speaker B: So you have to say that to everyone. [00:09:30] Speaker A: This is me all day. Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Good. How are you? Good. [00:09:34] Speaker B: I do this hey. [00:09:35] Speaker C: Hey. [00:09:36] Speaker B: So that it sounds a little bit longer. [00:09:37] Speaker A: That's a good one. [00:09:38] Speaker C: It's like friendly, it's playful, but it's not like asking you to answer because. [00:09:42] Speaker A: It'S just really what you're going for is the rhythm. It's like, hey. Hi. That works. We should just do that from now on. Hi. [00:09:52] Speaker B: I don't like to lie, and I know this is more of a white lie, but just saying, good, how are you? I'm not down to just make that a thing. [00:10:00] Speaker C: A casual other answer. Can you give to that question? [00:10:03] Speaker B: I always say tired. But then people are like, oh, why? [00:10:06] Speaker A: Because then. [00:10:06] Speaker B: And I'm like, I'm tired because I'm at work. Okay, I'm here at work, but here. [00:10:10] Speaker A: In the restaurant industry, I don't know how it is in every other industry, but it becomes this game of out miserabling each other. How are you? Tired, exhausted, hungover. How about you? Broke, disgusting and disheveled. It becomes like, who's the most hungover? It's a competition. I only slept for 4 hours. Oh, really? Well, good for you. I only slept for two. Yeah, I went out and then I went home and then I only slept for two. I'm doing terrible. [00:10:37] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, it's misery all day long. [00:10:39] Speaker A: It's like, who's the most miserable in the room? Competition. [00:10:42] Speaker C: Want to know what my boss always asks me? I was asking my desk, he goes, hey, what's new? [00:10:45] Speaker A: Love that. [00:10:46] Speaker C: No, what do you want me to say? [00:10:48] Speaker A: Well, it's better than, how are you? [00:10:49] Speaker C: I mean, but you want to know about my personal life? I'm not going to sit here and explain to like a 50 something year old man, what's new? [00:10:57] Speaker A: Like, started my period. [00:10:58] Speaker C: This literally, what's new? Got fucking wasted this weekend. Was hungover all Saturday. No. [00:11:06] Speaker B: I feel like what I'm going to say now that you brought it up, I'm going to be prepared. If someone says that to me, I'm going to say, I got nothing. [00:11:12] Speaker C: Yeah, you see, I'm like, you know nothing. But I guess I appreciate the sentiment. [00:11:18] Speaker B: But if I'm standing around with someone, I'd rather someone just make an observation that I can then comment on. [00:11:24] Speaker C: Tell me what's new with you, and then maybe it'll inspire. [00:11:27] Speaker A: Just start the conversation. Instead of saying, hi, what's new? How are you? Just walk up to someone and be like, my dog died this morning. Jump to the gun. What I started doing is being like, if someone says, how are you? Even though I'm that person, but when someone says, how are you? To me, I respond with, I'm not in the mood to either a lie or b, become a broken record of miserableness. So I'm just going to go ahead and not answer that question. How's that? How does try that on? And then that starts a conversation, but we're not doing ed. [00:11:53] Speaker C: Yeah. I just say, good, how are you? [00:11:57] Speaker B: Okay. Oh, my God. And what do we think? Is it worse or equally as bad when someone texts, how are you? I think it's worse. [00:12:04] Speaker C: I feel like it's better because that's more of, like an invitation to actually type out your feelings. [00:12:09] Speaker A: Because I'm bad at texting, and texting is weird. [00:12:11] Speaker C: Someone who texts you that I feel like actually wants to know. They're not saying, how are you? They're saying, how are you? [00:12:18] Speaker A: Okay. [00:12:18] Speaker C: Because there's like, how are you? [00:12:20] Speaker A: Yeah. There's like a, how are you? Good. No, I am asking, how are you? [00:12:23] Speaker C: How are you? [00:12:24] Speaker A: How are you? [00:12:25] Speaker C: How are you doing? [00:12:26] Speaker B: In my mind, I feel like the repetitiveness. [00:12:30] Speaker A: We're going to need subtitles. [00:12:32] Speaker B: The repetitiveness also occurs in texting because rather than, hey, how are you? Hey, good. How are you? It's good. Hbu. [00:12:41] Speaker A: Yeah, it's H-R-Y. How are you? [00:12:44] Speaker C: If you're going to respond to see in text, if you're going to respond with good, how are you? Don't bother responding. Tell me how you are. [00:12:50] Speaker A: See, I need to hear that because I'm a bad texter. And then I wonder why Tinder doesn't work for me personally. [00:12:55] Speaker B: I feel like, do not text me unless you have a reason. [00:12:58] Speaker C: They want to know if someone just wants to check in on you. They just want to say, hey, holly. [00:13:02] Speaker B: How are you doing? [00:13:03] Speaker C: They haven't heard from you, Holly. [00:13:06] Speaker B: It literally triggers a bitterness. [00:13:09] Speaker A: I totally agree. For me, I'm like, the only people I'm texting are strangers on the Internet that I want to have sex with. [00:13:14] Speaker C: Wow. [00:13:15] Speaker A: Like Grindr profiles or whatever. So it's very small talk in the beginning. To cut to the chase, I don't text people that I know. How are you? I don't do that. Is that a problem? Maybe. Is that a red? [00:13:25] Speaker C: I do it often, but it's like, really when you need to take a leap and reach out to someone and check on them. [00:13:31] Speaker A: Wait, you know what? I feel like I need to take a note from your book because what I do, I feel like you should. [00:13:35] Speaker B: Say, how are you doing with this? If anything, be specific, because it's more. [00:13:40] Speaker C: Like because if you're like, oh, how's work going? I don't want to talk about work. That's a question. I don't want to hear your, oh, come on, housework. [00:13:46] Speaker A: Okay. [00:13:47] Speaker B: But okay. The thing is, you don't actually know that they're asking you how you're doing because they could just be trying to hang out. Like, what if they're trying to hang out? [00:13:55] Speaker A: Then it's an I miss. [00:13:56] Speaker C: Then it's, don't ask me, how are you? Yeah, it's, want to hang out. I feel like, on text, just be direct. If you're not doing that, then there's a problem. [00:14:04] Speaker B: I agree. [00:14:04] Speaker C: Because why are you. Why are we wasting time here? [00:14:07] Speaker B: I'm going to be honest. I don't like to text at all by any means. [00:14:10] Speaker C: I'd much rather text than talk. I don't want to sit. The thing with talking on the phone is I don't want to pick up the phone and be like, now I'm on the phone for an hour. I've not wasted an hour. I mean, that's bad to say because it's like I'm talking to someone, to my friend or my family or someone who cares about me, but I don't want to do it. I don't want to sit here on the phone for an hour. [00:14:28] Speaker A: Sorry. [00:14:28] Speaker C: Not sorry, just text me. [00:14:30] Speaker A: And it's like, I have rituals in my life. Like, I get my food. I sit in front of, watch YouTube videos, whatever. [00:14:35] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:14:35] Speaker A: You call me, I answer. Now I'm like, oh, no, my food's getting cold because I don't want to eat it without watching my YouTube video. And I'm sitting here for an hour, and I'm like, okay, I guess I'll start eating while I'm on the phone. And then I'm eating while I'm on the phone, but I'm not watching YouTube. I'm not satisfied. And then we hang up. I'm done eating. Now what? I'm full. [00:14:52] Speaker C: I could have watched three episodes of friends in the time we've been talking, right? [00:14:56] Speaker B: And that's why my relationships are deteriorating. [00:14:59] Speaker A: That's why the only thing we have left is you guys at apartment one r. The cult. [00:15:07] Speaker B: The phone thing is hard because everybody has access to you all the time, and you don't feel like you have enough time for yourself. [00:15:13] Speaker C: You can respond when you're good and ready. [00:15:15] Speaker B: Yeah, but then I don't want them to then respond, and then it turns into a back and forth. Like, I never want the back and forth, because I always have something to do. [00:15:22] Speaker A: My thing is we need to pretend, like, for a little bit. Texting culture has gotten insane, and we need to pretend like carrier pigeons are still the only option. And your husband goes off to world War I. [00:15:33] Speaker C: Maybe. Text with intent. [00:15:35] Speaker A: Yeah, text with intent. Hey, what are we cooking for thanksgiving? [00:15:38] Speaker C: What do you want for me? [00:15:39] Speaker A: Right? Don't do. Hey, how are you? How are things? I'm good. Are you working today? I'm like, no, I'm not working today. Why? Are you free? They're like, oh, no. Just wondering why. [00:15:47] Speaker C: If I'm asking you, are you working today? I'm like, no. Okay, then you're going to spend time with me. [00:15:51] Speaker B: Can I tell you something that Simone said to me the other day, which he says regularly this day. Sorry, Simone. This day, I had to be like, I don't like that question. [00:16:02] Speaker C: At least you're comfortable enough with him to say that. [00:16:04] Speaker B: I was like, you know what? I don't like that question. [00:16:06] Speaker A: What was the question? [00:16:09] Speaker B: He goes, what'd you do today? Just chores. [00:16:12] Speaker C: Whatever. [00:16:12] Speaker B: What were the chores? I'm like, then I'm standing there trying to think about my day. I'm struggling. I'm like, and then it's like I'm on the spot. I have to remember, starting from when I woke up. What did I do when I woke up? A chore is a lot of things. I did some laundry, and then I came back. I did some dishes. I don't want to list out the things that I just suffered doing. Now I have to talk about these things. Like, the chore is a chore. A chore is a chore. [00:16:38] Speaker A: You have to do it double a chore. [00:16:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:40] Speaker B: Now I have to talk about. Yeah. There's nothing interesting. I have to put energy into saying it. I don't want to be asked that question. I really don't. [00:16:48] Speaker A: It's like when someone's like, what are you doing? And you're, like, watching tv, and they respond with, what are you watching? No, I'm watching something. I'm busy. I don't want to be sitting here watching something, texting you about what I'm watching, you're interrupting. And then you give your opinions on it while I'm in the middle of watching it, forming my own opinions. [00:17:05] Speaker C: It's just. [00:17:06] Speaker A: I don't know. I'm personally down for weather as small talk, because that's something tangible. That's real. [00:17:14] Speaker C: Love it. [00:17:15] Speaker A: It's raining out. [00:17:16] Speaker C: I honestly love talking about the weather. [00:17:18] Speaker A: Me too. I'll talk about it all day because I'll complain about it all day too. Yeah, because I was just saying earlier, I'm never comfortable. People ask me where I want to live. They ask me where I want to travel, and the answer is always no. [00:17:28] Speaker C: It's like, I hate small talk, but I talking about the weather because we all actually can relate. That's something that I don't have to fake. I'm like, you know what? It's fucking hot out today. [00:17:38] Speaker A: You're not pretending it's raining. [00:17:40] Speaker C: It's awful. I'm sweaty or it's cold out. It's raining, whatever. It's cold out. [00:17:44] Speaker B: I'm like, oh, you need to open a window. [00:17:46] Speaker C: Go open a window. [00:17:47] Speaker A: Go ahead, get a little cross breeze. [00:17:49] Speaker B: I don't hate it, but I don't necessarily love it. [00:17:53] Speaker A: I don't know if I would say, oh, I love talking about the weather, but I like it. [00:17:58] Speaker C: Don't mind it. [00:17:59] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't mind it. [00:18:00] Speaker B: What other forms of small talk? [00:18:02] Speaker C: How is your weekend? [00:18:03] Speaker A: Oh, here's another thing. I don't know if it's because I'm bitter, jaded, broke, miserable work in the food industry, but how is your weekend? Am I out of the loop or have weekends not existed since high school? [00:18:17] Speaker C: I definitely get asked that because my job does have weekends. And it's always like, lawyers that I work with. Talking about the little, the shows they went to. They're like, we went to brunch people. [00:18:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:28] Speaker C: Oh, we went to brunch with some friends. I'm like, good for, honestly, good for you. [00:18:33] Speaker B: But also, do we really care? [00:18:35] Speaker A: No, we don't. [00:18:36] Speaker C: No. Do I care? You'll go on. I'm like, I'll forget this in ten minutes. And then I have to think back about what I did on this weekend. And I'm like, do I have dementia? [00:18:44] Speaker A: Yeah. No, because I'm like, first of all, oh, my God. [00:18:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:48] Speaker C: I don't remember. [00:18:49] Speaker B: I forget too. [00:18:51] Speaker C: It takes me a minute. [00:18:52] Speaker A: Like, how were your days off? I'm like, oh, well, the first of the two days I rotted in my bed. [00:18:57] Speaker C: There's always one day on the weekend. I'm like, I was violently hungover. [00:19:01] Speaker A: That was today. I always have off Wednesday. Thursday, we're filming in a Wednesday. I always spend my Wednesday completely. Like, you would think that there was, like, body tape around me in my mattress. And then Thursday I pretend like I'm going to clean my whole life, but I don't. [00:19:14] Speaker B: It'll be like, what did I do this weekend? Oh, I finally got my laundry done. [00:19:19] Speaker A: Because for me I'm like, the only times that I go out and do fun things are after work. So my weekend is like the most boring part of my week. It's like I literally did nothing. [00:19:28] Speaker C: You could go out after work on. [00:19:29] Speaker A: A weekend, well defined weekend because I'm like, for me, I work weekend. So my weekend is Wednesday Thursday. So if we're going to talk, how was your couple of days off then? We're talking about Wednesday Thursday. [00:19:39] Speaker C: Yeah, but maybe weekends are like, things are more popping for me. [00:19:43] Speaker A: I'm like, weekends suck because I work later. It's busier, which I love the money, but I hate working. So the weekends, I'm like, yeah, enough with the weekend. You know? He's number one charting on Spotify right now. [00:19:53] Speaker C: Isn't he like homophobic or something? [00:19:55] Speaker A: Is he? I don't know. [00:19:56] Speaker C: Yeah, apparently it's hard to kill his vibe. [00:19:59] Speaker A: What is his vibe though? [00:20:00] Speaker B: Just, it's like, yeah. [00:20:05] Speaker C: He'S like trying to be Michael Jackson. [00:20:07] Speaker A: It's not happening. [00:20:09] Speaker C: Don't get me started on Michael Jackson. [00:20:11] Speaker A: No. Oh, no. Because we could get started on Michael Jackson. [00:20:13] Speaker C: No, I don't want to. I'm afraid. [00:20:15] Speaker A: No, because we could go there. [00:20:16] Speaker C: I'm afraid I'm gonna have nightmares tonight if we talk about Michael Jackson. [00:20:19] Speaker A: Kira has Michael Jackson Phobia and I. [00:20:22] Speaker B: Am a huge supporter of Michael Jackson and a denier of the conspiracy theory. [00:20:26] Speaker A: So there's some beef, there's some tension. [00:20:28] Speaker C: I believe it, I believe it. But whether it's true or not, I mean, creepy. Give me get away with the he. [00:20:34] Speaker A: No, like there's a real thing where people have like a legit phobia. [00:20:38] Speaker C: I think it's because he was in scary movie or something. They had him burst out of a. [00:20:43] Speaker A: Closet or he was in all those seasons of iCarly as the main character. [00:20:50] Speaker C: Terrifying. [00:20:51] Speaker B: So I feel like the thing with small talk is that if you are having small talk, that means there's something wrong there with the personalities meshing because. [00:21:00] Speaker A: It'S always behind an eye twitch. [00:21:02] Speaker C: You're not going to get along, you're not going to be a perfect match with everyone you have to interact with, like at work, your family, maybe some distant family members. [00:21:10] Speaker A: That's a big deal. [00:21:11] Speaker C: Some friends of friends. You just have to make small talk. I hate when people make small talk at a bar or something. Someone's trying to talk, I'm like, they're like, what do you do for work? [00:21:19] Speaker A: I'm like, oh, doesn't matter what's your entire life plan. Can you tell me right now everything about who you are and the fabric of what makes you you and all of the decisions you've ever made couldn't be bothered? That's small talk. [00:21:32] Speaker C: I wouldn't like to do anything. [00:21:34] Speaker B: Know, I like talk about that, sort of. I actually, when we were in island, I, last time I went to girl, I asked you a question. I remember. And then immediately being like, she didn't like that question about my job. [00:21:49] Speaker C: I was talking about my job a lot in Fire island, and I was also explaining it to everyone there. [00:21:55] Speaker B: And you're trying to give me advice. [00:21:58] Speaker C: And I literally explained my job so many times and be like, so I work at a nonprofit, blah, blah, blah. [00:22:06] Speaker A: Basically begging for the conversation to move on. [00:22:09] Speaker C: And they're like, oh, is that what you want to. No, it's not what I want to do. [00:22:12] Speaker A: Also, since when did asking me, what do you do for a living become solitation for? I need advice, and I need you to give opinions. [00:22:19] Speaker C: Right. First of all, I don't need to hear it, but I mean, maybe I do, maybe I do. Maybe I'm just negative and I need the networking, I need the connections. But people ask me about work is like, you don't understand how big of a concern this is in my life and how much I've tried to find a new job and how much of a stressor it is for me. And it's like, not small talk. No, it's big talk. [00:22:39] Speaker B: Yeah, big talk. [00:22:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:40] Speaker B: But the thing that I asked you, I think had to do with, because you went to school for politics or whatever, and I think I asked you what realm specifically? And you're like, I don't know. [00:22:51] Speaker C: Yeah. What do you want to do? Oh, man, I wish I knew. Well, it's like, I kind of do know which it's that I can't or not that I can't never say never. [00:23:00] Speaker B: Or whatever, but it's just stressful. [00:23:01] Speaker C: I've tried to find jobs, and what I want to do, this is big talk. We're talking big talk now. But I've tried, and it's not that simple. [00:23:11] Speaker B: And what's the purpose of the big talk? If you're struggling, you don't need someone being like, oh, well, you should try this sometimes that just makes it work. [00:23:20] Speaker C: Have you tried LinkedIn? [00:23:22] Speaker A: Actually, no. I've just sat and did absolutely not a goddamn, literally for myself. [00:23:27] Speaker C: Literally. [00:23:27] Speaker A: That's a brand new concept. [00:23:29] Speaker C: Never heard of it. [00:23:30] Speaker A: Have you ever tried working? Have you ever tried breathing air. Have you ever tried eating? Who do you think I am? I've never tried LinkedIn. Slap me across the face and call me a dumb bitch. But, like, careers is a small talk. [00:23:43] Speaker B: I get it. Also, if you're maybe going on a date and you're like, well, that's not small talk. [00:23:48] Speaker A: That's big talk. [00:23:49] Speaker C: I need to know. [00:23:50] Speaker A: Yeah, that's who am I going to marry? [00:23:52] Speaker B: You're right. [00:23:53] Speaker A: My coworker on the sidewalk. And they're like, oh, what do you do for a living? They always ask me. They're like, are you an actor? Because here at the pod, it's shits and shambles. It's shits and giggles. It's poops and laughs. So I always respond, yeah, because also, here's the thing. I decided I work in Hollywood because all of my coworkers are actors. I'm putting air quotes around that. Actors with a coke problem. So I work in Hollywood even though I work in a restaurant. [00:24:19] Speaker C: Well, you work in a movie theater. [00:24:21] Speaker B: Not just that, but as a server. You're performing. That's what you do. I was a server. Fucking hated every second of it. And that's because I had to perform. And there's, like, other things. Multitasking, whatever. But performing is just something that I especially performing as happy a happy no. [00:24:40] Speaker A: One, because everyone around me is an actor. I'm like, you know what? I'm an actor, too, because I act like I'm happy at work all the time. And then I'm like, so I want that credit. Yeah, I'm an actor. I'm part of your little circle. Yeah, I go to school. Yeah. I go to BMCC. Yeah, I go to NYU. I'm an actor. Get it, get it, get it. I'm professional. I have an llc. I just got off the phone with ll cool Jai. [00:25:00] Speaker B: But I do ask people sometimes if I start new conversations, I will ask, because I like to hear what people are dorky about. One Girl specifically, she's like, oh, I'm in school for architecture. In that example, I would ask her questions about architecture. I'm giving them the opportunity to dork off about whatever they find interesting and beautiful, to talk about it so that I could learn and see from their perspective. [00:25:25] Speaker C: Yeah. I feel like as much as small talk is annoying, in certain ways, it does matter. You have to do it. You have to learn things about people. [00:25:33] Speaker A: Well, here's the thing. I feel like small talk is the bridge to big talk. You see someone and you're not going to be like, tell me your thoughts of religion and death. Small talk is the bridge to get you there. The issue is when that bridge is never crossed and you just have years of relationships with a coworker of. How is everything? Good. Good. You excited for Christmas? Me too. I'm excited for Christmas. When it's only small talk, that's when it's like, okay, there's a time and a place for everything. There's a time and a place for small talk. But it's that stepping stone to big talk. That's when you could hear them geek out and you could hear about their little interests. [00:26:09] Speaker B: You know what I don't like is the illusion of closeness with the reality of small talk. And that would be passing a coworker in the hallway, hey, bibbity bobbity. Ha. That isn't really funny. But we keep bringing it up anyways because we have nothing else to talk about. [00:26:24] Speaker A: Can't relate because I'm hilarious. Make authentic connections with everyone I touch. But, yeah, I've seen it. No, I'm kidding. [00:26:31] Speaker B: I feel like, yeah, I can't do that. I'm not good at being a chameleon when it comes to random. [00:26:36] Speaker A: Oh, I am the biggest chameleon ever. And that's why I say, I'm an actor. I'm an actor. Everyone thinks that I love them. [00:26:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:41] Speaker A: But I feel like it's necessary and it's fun. I want to live in a world where conversations are easy. [00:26:45] Speaker C: I feel like I can do it, too. But I also will cut off a conversation and be like, I don't know. [00:26:49] Speaker A: They'll be like, yeah, done. [00:26:50] Speaker C: All right, there we go. Good. Okay. All right. Moving on. Great. But, yeah, that's why people are always like, oh, you're quiet. [00:26:57] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay, you're quiet. What's that like? Because I'm a loud ass bitch. [00:27:02] Speaker C: What about it? What about it? I hate when people are like, oh, you're quiet. [00:27:05] Speaker B: Because you know what? There's an assumption, I've noticed that you're shy. Do you feel like those two things are mutually exclusive or that they are tied together, being shy and quiet? [00:27:18] Speaker C: What is quiet? [00:27:20] Speaker A: Right. [00:27:21] Speaker B: I don't know. You just get. [00:27:22] Speaker A: Because you don't walk into a room and you're like, I feel like I. [00:27:24] Speaker C: Am introverted, so I can't be bothered to talk to you right now. Minding my own business is what I'm doing. What do you want from me? I'm not going to sit here and make small talk with you. [00:27:34] Speaker A: I'm just outline at the grocery store. Trying to get my oat. [00:27:36] Speaker C: Talk to me. No, I don't want to talk. I'm thinking about whatever. Game of Thrones, probably. [00:27:41] Speaker A: How do we feel about people that make announcements out loud? Like this one person in the grocery store the other day was like, they're changing the clocks back. Just out loud to herself, but wanting people to respond. They're changing the clocks back. Uhoh. I don't know how I'm going to adjust with my mind. [00:27:58] Speaker B: I like it when I have a good response. [00:28:00] Speaker C: That's the ultimate small talk. She's making small talk with everyone in her immediate vicinity. [00:28:04] Speaker A: Yeah, because it's crazy. Because it's not like she went up to one person and was like, oh, they're changing the clocks. She picked her head up and announced to the room, waiting for somebody to join and start a conversation with her. And I was like, that's interesting. We're just announcing our thoughts out loud. [00:28:18] Speaker C: Something I would never do in a million years. [00:28:20] Speaker A: I'm a talkative person. I would never do that. [00:28:22] Speaker B: You know what? I actually do that. I'll make observations. [00:28:25] Speaker A: No, to start, you're not standing in a grocery store. [00:28:28] Speaker B: I could give an example, not in a grocery store, but I can give an example of a coworker who I didn't really speak to. I was like, I hate it when people, and this is something I've said on the pod, I hate it when people jiggle the door when I'm in the bathroom taking a shower because there's a label on it that says occupied. I just said that opinion and they just started laughing. [00:28:48] Speaker C: I think it depends on the situation. If I'm, like, in a group of people that are socializing, yes, I will insert my observations, but if I'm in the middle of a grocery store, if I'm surrounded by strangers around, people minding their own business, that's the thing is. [00:29:01] Speaker A: Like, you had a they in the story. You were like, I said to them, blah, blah, blah. [00:29:04] Speaker B: Oh, no, it was one person. [00:29:05] Speaker A: No, that's what I'm saying. You had a human being that you were talking to. Yeah, I'm talking about somebody. And it happens all the time on the train. People are like, oh, this delay is crazy. Right? [00:29:16] Speaker C: I was in five below or something, and I was just like, looking at mugs or something, and this lady was like, oh, my God. I don't remember what she said, but she was just talking to me. It was about the mugs or like, oh, all this stuff. I'm going to buy it because there's $5. I'm like, why are you talking to me? [00:29:29] Speaker A: I could see you just like, this is you. Yeah. [00:29:31] Speaker C: I was like. And continued to look. [00:29:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Because sometimes I'm not in the fucking mood because I am a talkative person. But there are so many times where I'm just completely in introvert mode and in hermit mode. [00:29:42] Speaker C: That's ultimate small talk. Someone you're never going to see again. Someone you're just looking at mugs beside kind of intimate. [00:29:49] Speaker A: I will say, I love when an old lady is like, as if says something to me. Like, I'm like, hey, girl, depends what it is. It depends what it is. [00:29:56] Speaker C: In this situation was not necessary. Like, why are you talking to me? What's going on here? [00:30:01] Speaker A: Are you someone that walks around with headphones on as a signal to don't talk to me? [00:30:06] Speaker C: It depends where I am. Not if I'm in a store or something, but if, like on the subway or just walking around. Yeah. And sometimes people will still talk to me. One time I was waiting for the subway and this guy came up to me and just started talking to me and then I ended up because I don't know how to cut off a conversation. I ended up talking to this man the entire ride back home from Manhattan to Queens. [00:30:26] Speaker A: Oh, come on. That's creepy. [00:30:28] Speaker C: First of all, don't talk to lonesome woman on the subway. I'm just trying to get home. Second of all, I have headphones in. Third of all, what's going on? [00:30:36] Speaker A: Wanna know what? [00:30:37] Speaker C: This isn't where you make friends. [00:30:38] Speaker A: We need to put all the people that talk to randomness and just talk to the abyss out loud. Waiting for a response. We need to put them all on Omegle. [00:30:45] Speaker C: It's gone. [00:30:46] Speaker A: It's gone. Omega. [00:30:47] Speaker B: Omega. [00:30:47] Speaker C: R-I-P. Omega. Do you not hear this? No, like a week ago. [00:30:51] Speaker B: There's another thing though, right? Like chat something. [00:30:53] Speaker C: I'm sure there's others. Yes, but Omega is the one that scarred us all. [00:30:57] Speaker B: I have a experience. One time I was walking home. Could have been work, could have been school. Whatever the case, sometimes I went to both. I had my book bag on. And my book bag is especially during school time. I am a turtle. It's huge. [00:31:10] Speaker A: It's a book bag wearing holly. [00:31:12] Speaker B: It is huge. It is heavy. And I've just been walking. So I was like a few blocks away from home and all of a sudden I'm just hearing chatting next to me and it just lingered for a while and I look beside me and there's like someone talking to me. [00:31:26] Speaker A: What are you talking about? [00:31:27] Speaker B: Yeah, what bothers me is, like, make sure that you got my attention before you continue talking. Don't keep talking. [00:31:34] Speaker A: Why? Am I catching the end of a sentence? [00:31:36] Speaker B: Yeah, that's weird behavior. First of all, red flag. That's a red flag to me. You not making sure first that you got my attention and just continue to talk. Anyways, so I engaged, talking, whatever. I was about to part, turn my corner, and he's like, hey, so can I get your. No. This is what he said. Do you want to continue walking around the neighborhood or whatever and talk? [00:31:54] Speaker A: Mama? [00:31:55] Speaker B: First of all, I have a ginormous book bag on my back. It's not like the type of book bag that's flat and it's sort of like hanging. [00:32:01] Speaker A: No. I need you all to imagine this, because it's a big. [00:32:04] Speaker C: Where your safety is a concern and women are followed when people just latch onto them and won't stop talking to them. [00:32:10] Speaker B: Yeah. And the thing is, he looked young. He had long hair. He looked like a skater. [00:32:15] Speaker A: He was shooting his shot. [00:32:17] Speaker B: It felt like he wasn't a threat, but he's like, oh, well, then can I get your number? And I'm like, I don't do the text thing, so I'd be willing to give you my instagram or whatever. And he's like, I don't do that shit. And then just walked away bitter and annoyed. [00:32:31] Speaker C: And I'm like, better off. [00:32:32] Speaker B: I'm like, you know what? Don't be butthurt, okay? Because I'm on my way home from school. I have a huge ass book bag. I'm fucking tired. I have schoolwork to do. I'm stressed. I don't even have enough time to spend with my family. I don't have enough time for the people that really matter. Don't assume that you deserve my time, first of all. And he has this attitude about Instagram. I'm not texting you. Just back to the texting thing. I'm not going to text you. I get it. Shooting his shot. [00:32:58] Speaker C: But you didn't ask the shooting. [00:32:59] Speaker A: The shot, but he missed. You're allowed to shoot your shot, but you missed. That ball is swinging across the court, nowhere near the net. [00:33:05] Speaker C: At least you talked to him for that long. You could have just ignored him entirely. [00:33:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:09] Speaker C: Also, the fact that we live in New York City and it's not normal for people to just come up to you and start talking. Like, we are notoriously people who will ignore everyone in our path, it just. [00:33:18] Speaker A: Shows, like, a lack of social awareness. Like, if you're just going up to a stranger and, like, what are you doing? [00:33:25] Speaker B: I'm not against it, but also, I felt like he had this generation and their instagram. Even though he looked about our age, he looked. [00:33:32] Speaker A: I know the type. I already know his type. You're just coming up to squirtle on the sidewalk. What's that character in squirtle? [00:33:39] Speaker C: Pokemon. [00:33:39] Speaker A: Yeah, Pokemon. You're coming up to squirtle and trying to get my number. Rushing home. [00:33:46] Speaker C: He has a preferred method of contact. But you can't have one, right? [00:33:49] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. [00:33:50] Speaker A: Just, I feel like as a bartender, people always expect small talk. It's part of my job title. I understand it, but they always want their whole life story on the table. My whole life story on the table. I'm like, can I pour a margarita in a cup and put it in front of you and move on? Do I have to dance? [00:34:06] Speaker C: The customer is not always right. [00:34:07] Speaker A: No, the customer is always wrong. [00:34:10] Speaker C: Actually, customer has no idea what the fuck they're talking about. [00:34:13] Speaker A: It's a game of making the customer think it was their idea. They're always wrong, but just make it be like, ooh, you're in charge here. [00:34:21] Speaker C: I'm sure you're so good at that. [00:34:22] Speaker A: Honestly, I used to be good at it, but now I have no patience left in my body, and that's why I sit on a microphone and talk shit to strangers on the Internet with my roommates. [00:34:31] Speaker B: I feel like the small talk when it comes to customers, it almost, I feel like has gotten dark for me just because it's very much. You're the side character in their story, and that can last for years. They're coming in, taking the kids out to this adventure. Yeah, we're going deer. [00:34:49] Speaker C: Oh, my God. I worked at, like, a hibachi restaurant, and people would come in all the time and be so happy. They're getting hibachi screaming, yelling at the people, throwing food in their faces, and then they go looking at the koi fish and the koi koi, letting their children hang over their banging on the glass. [00:35:07] Speaker A: Has anybody ever sang happy birthday to a table? [00:35:09] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Do you. [00:35:10] Speaker A: Oh, I've done it countless times. Happy birthday to you. When I was serving. Yes, as a bartender. Hell motherfucking no. Am I standing behind the bar? Happy birthday to you I loved when. [00:35:22] Speaker B: I worked at a bar. I loved it because people were getting drunk so I could get past the small talk with them. Like, I could get deep. [00:35:30] Speaker A: Also, if it's busy enough. You could ignore people, which I love. I love when it's busy enough to where I could just be like, girl, bye. I'm not going to sit here and have a conversation with you. But the worst is when it's one guest. Like, when it's just me and one person sitting at the end of the bar, like one man. I'm like, now we need to make small talk. [00:35:47] Speaker C: We need to make big talk. [00:35:48] Speaker A: I'm like, you live around here? They're like, well, I grew up, actually. I'm like, here we go. Tone zono. [00:35:54] Speaker C: I don't care. But even if it's big talk with this man, I do not care. [00:35:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't care. I'm at work, I'miserable. [00:36:01] Speaker B: Or if you want to go, start closing or something. And so all you hear is the rattling of you closing, but someone sipping. [00:36:08] Speaker A: Someone slurping a drink, like, did you do last call? I'm like, yes. An hour. We're there. Bye. Always so funny. Ow. [00:36:17] Speaker B: So have you done your routine this morning? Got your protein in? Did you're running? Because I got 5 miles in. [00:36:28] Speaker C: People who run. [00:36:30] Speaker A: Oh, come on. And it's like, you could run, but keep that in the bedroom. You know what I mean? It's like, don't ask, don't tell. I don't need to see you tapping on your wrist. [00:36:37] Speaker C: I want to see you jogging at the stop sign. [00:36:40] Speaker B: I'm fine with those people. [00:36:41] Speaker A: But it's six in the morning, groggy. I'm like, how are you? They're like, I'm like, I just woke up at two. Or I wonder what it is. Oh, we already talked about this, didn't we? When it's 02:00 p.m. And I'm like, good morning. And someone's like, don't you mean the afternoon? [00:36:57] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, we did talk about this on the pod. [00:37:00] Speaker A: I don't know if we talked about it on the pod or not. Like it's all a blur. It's all a blur. Well, I started this morning with egg whites that were blanche and then I went for seven jogs and ran a marathon. [00:37:11] Speaker C: I understand people who like to work out in the morning, holly, because you. [00:37:16] Speaker B: Get it over with. You get it over with and then you have the rest of the day. [00:37:20] Speaker C: I don't want to lose sleep till, like, exercise. [00:37:23] Speaker B: There's nothing like early bird gets the worm. There's nothing like the morning air trust. I need to sleep. [00:37:29] Speaker C: Sleep is also important for your health. Okay, it is. [00:37:32] Speaker B: But you get better patterned sleep when you wake up at the same time. [00:37:35] Speaker C: Every day, that's never going to happen. [00:37:38] Speaker A: I pretty much do wake up at the same time every day and it's like 02:00 p.m. [00:37:42] Speaker C: If I have to wake up at like 07:00 for work some days, I'm not going to wake up at 07:00 every day on the weekend. It's not going to happen. [00:37:48] Speaker B: See, this is why you guys are bitter about goal oriented people. This is what we have on the list here that they brought up. Goal oriented, overly positive career. Those are the three you added. [00:38:00] Speaker C: Career? [00:38:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Per suggestion. [00:38:03] Speaker C: No. I think I'm jealous of goal oriented people, honestly, because I want to do things. I'm just like, sometimes I just want to sit in bed. Sometimes I just want to fucking zone out, and that's it. But there's a time and place for everything and no. Okay. I think everyone needs some time to just sit and relax and do what you want. But you, that's okay. [00:38:32] Speaker B: You do have some goals because you want to go play basketball and shit. [00:38:36] Speaker C: Let's make clear. Like, not professionally. I was just like, holly and Michael, let's go to the Olympics. Okay. Yeah, I do. I do have that goal, guys, which we never did. I have a basketball sitting in my room. [00:38:48] Speaker A: I started telling myself to no longer. If someone talks about, and Holly's that girl, like, talking about a ski trip or skateboarding or whenever it's something physically laborous, I no longer lie to the room. I just say, not for me, I'm not going to do that. I'm not getting up on ice skates. [00:39:07] Speaker C: I feel like I have goals for my own happiness. Not as much as I do have career goals. I'm just way too beaten down by capitalism to get there. And I've just went to college and I have read and analyzed the communist manifesto one too many times to be like, yes, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and just get it done. No. [00:39:26] Speaker B: Yeah. And it also is a weird form of conversation because it's just with hard. [00:39:31] Speaker C: Work, anything can happen. [00:39:33] Speaker B: It provokes unsolicited advice, which is, no bueno. I'm not here for your mansplaining. [00:39:39] Speaker A: Are we too old for what do you want to be when you grow up? Because I feel like that's still part of small talk. [00:39:44] Speaker C: Never too old for that. Honestly. I do feel like at any age, you can achieve. [00:39:48] Speaker A: Oh, no, I totally agree with that. And that's what I'm thinking. My success is going to come in my 40s. I'm going to age into it. [00:39:56] Speaker B: But you mean in conversation. [00:39:57] Speaker A: But in small talk conversation. [00:39:59] Speaker B: It's one thing to be like to a child. What do you want to be when you grow up? It's another thing to say to another adult. So what are you planning every single. [00:40:06] Speaker A: Because I'm not in school or anything like that. Every single small talk interaction is especially living in the city, because it's like, I work with people that are here planning on doing. [00:40:14] Speaker C: I'm planning on paying my bill. [00:40:16] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm planning on going to bed tonight. That's what. Mama, I live here. I'm an adult. What do you mean? What do I want to do when I'm older? I'm doing it right now. I'm old. [00:40:23] Speaker B: It's very much. Tell me how much value you have and how much value you will accumulate before I commit to you as a friend or a colleague. [00:40:33] Speaker A: It's like we're on the same track, right? Bigger and better. Everything. This is just a little thing. I'm like, girl, I'm at work. I want to talk about the moment. [00:40:40] Speaker C: I hate the idea of hard work. I mean, yes, you have to put in hard work to get what you want, and you have to put in. [00:40:46] Speaker A: Hard work to survive. [00:40:47] Speaker C: I've put in hard work, and for certain things, I've gotten nothing. [00:40:51] Speaker B: Yeah, again, like with that unsolicited advice, sometimes you get weird, abstract things come at you. I don't know if you ever get this, like, abstract things, because there is a part of me sometimes that I'm like, this is straight sexism right now, where someone will be like, you got to make your own path and follow your dreams, or whatever. [00:41:14] Speaker C: It's just so idealist and just not rooted in reality. [00:41:18] Speaker A: It's like, who are you? [00:41:19] Speaker B: Who made you the. Because I do ask. I actually ask. This is my form of small talk with people that I perceive as successful and high functioning. I'll go over and be like, what's the first thing you do in the morning? I'll ask them very detailed questions. [00:41:34] Speaker C: Yeah, I think it's good to have a certain question that will tell you a lot about someone that you can just ask the different people. [00:41:44] Speaker B: Do you guys want to try to decipher something that someone said to me once? [00:41:48] Speaker C: Yes. [00:41:49] Speaker B: There was no context, no beginning of the conversation, no real conversations ever. Before this, someone just looked at me. A coworker. A new coworker. Hey, don't forget where you came from. Here's what I want to know. I'm asking for your advice. How do you respond? Tell me. The only way to respond. [00:42:08] Speaker A: You got to go full soap opera. [00:42:10] Speaker C: There was no context for that. [00:42:11] Speaker B: No context. Also, if you know what he's trying to tell me, also tell me, because I'm not sure what the message there was. [00:42:18] Speaker C: I think it's like, be humble. [00:42:19] Speaker A: Yeah, be humble. First of all, fuck you. I'm not going to be humble. [00:42:22] Speaker C: But don't tell me to be humble. [00:42:23] Speaker A: Go fuck yourself for telling me to lower my less than myself for. [00:42:27] Speaker C: You're the one that's not humble. [00:42:28] Speaker A: Yeah, you're not humble. Get off your high horse. You're not in a special. [00:42:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:32] Speaker A: In a holiday special on, like, ABC, he wanted you to just gaze over into his direction and have one tossled curl blow in the winds behind you while you bat your eyelashes and go, oh, yeah, he's a white Christmas. [00:42:44] Speaker C: He's like, remember those colorful lights you grew up on? [00:42:47] Speaker A: Now we're in a penthouse, and we've grown up, and we've moved on. But don't ever forget where you come from, that little child that lives within you. [00:42:54] Speaker B: Okay, so then how do you respond? Does anybody know? [00:42:58] Speaker C: What would you guys. I won't. That's it. [00:43:00] Speaker A: I think that I was honestly, that's. [00:43:01] Speaker C: Literally how I would respond. I'd be like, all right, I won't. [00:43:03] Speaker A: You don't know where I come from. What I would really do is go and feel uncomfortable, but what I would want to say is, bitch, you don't know where I come from. Who the hell are you? Where do you come from? What gives you the audacity to come up from that? [00:43:17] Speaker C: He's thinking, that's so important to say right now. Where did he come from? [00:43:21] Speaker B: I went, you too? And then walked away. [00:43:23] Speaker A: Okay, you're right. Maybe it's, like, a nice gesture. [00:43:25] Speaker B: I don't know. Because after that moment, I was, like, pondering it for a while. See, these are the types of situations where I'm like, I don't know what to say. I need training in that. [00:43:35] Speaker A: Yeah. Whenever I don't know what to say, I just go like this. [00:43:39] Speaker B: Is there anything that you guys have gotten, something said to you where you're like, I legitimately don't know what to. [00:43:44] Speaker C: Say here, I'm sure happened a lot of times. I just can't think of any. [00:43:47] Speaker A: And this is on topic. This one, it was at Shoprite when I was, like, a teenager. Was like, da da da da. Just, like, talking. And I was just like, yeah. And he was like, yeah, like, imitating me. And then being like, something along the lines of, like, this generation doesn't even know how to have conversations with people, like, out loud, but to me. And then I would just be like. And he would be like, see? You don't even know what to say. And I was like, yeah, I don't. [00:44:08] Speaker C: Know what to say when someone's being blatantly rude and disrespectful. [00:44:11] Speaker A: And I'm also not feeling any type of way about you right now. Like you're just some random person yelling. And I'm like, bye. I don't feel the need to convince you that I'm able to have a conversation. I don't need to go, no, look at me, look at me, look at me. I'm a real person. It's you and me here. We're having an authentic conversation with strangers. No, I don't need to prove that to you. Move along. You're a stranger. I don't know you. I don't own anything to you. [00:44:34] Speaker B: Also, that's a really uncomfortable situation because he got butthurt because you didn't add to the conversation started, but he understood what yeah meant, and that meant, like, you were not engaging. And then he got butthurt. He said something about it, and now how do you respond? Like, you're a worker. What are you supposed to do, argue him now? [00:44:52] Speaker A: I'm not a believer. [00:44:53] Speaker B: Fair position. [00:44:54] Speaker A: I'm not a believer of keeping it real all the time. I'm like, just go away. I'm just going to say, whatever makes you go away. [00:44:59] Speaker C: This man felt the need to imitate you and just make fun of you right to your face while you're working in customer service. He's the scum of the earth, right? [00:45:08] Speaker A: And it didn't feel, like pointed towards me. I didn't feel any type of way because he was just, like, mumbling coming over to the register. Like this generation doesn't even know how to talk to each other. Look at it. And I'm like, hi. And he's like, hi. That's all? I'm like, yeah, that's all. I don't know who you are. [00:45:24] Speaker C: Are you buying? [00:45:25] Speaker A: Mumbling? I hate you. Speak up like, I don't owe anything to you. [00:45:30] Speaker C: Paper or plastic? [00:45:31] Speaker A: Paper or plastic? Double bagged. I'm presuming because you're an asshole for your one little toothpaste and he's not. [00:45:37] Speaker B: Giving you anything to work with there. Are you supposed to defend your generation? Are you supposed to be like, yeah, you're right, we suck. There's just nothing for you to say. [00:45:46] Speaker A: And if there's nothing, you don't owe them a response. Let them sit in that awkward look at them and just go blank expression like, I have nothing to say. That's powerful. You've learned a lesson. That person is no hard feelings. This was a learning lesson for both of us on how to communicate with other people. And I think you just learned that what you're doing is a little off center. You need to adjust a little. And I'm happy to be a tool in your learning lesson as long as we could move on from this. [00:46:10] Speaker B: Okay, I have another one. Sometimes people will say to me, when I'm doing my job, they have you doing this. [00:46:16] Speaker A: They got you down here in the dishwid. [00:46:19] Speaker B: Yeah, it's that vibe. What do I say when I'm doing my job, the job that I'm getting paid for, the job that I'm supposed to be doing, when someone says they. [00:46:26] Speaker C: Have, looking down on your job, saying. [00:46:28] Speaker B: Oh, is that what that means? Because it feels like that means, first. [00:46:31] Speaker C: Of all, it's like, oh, man, you really? Like, I don't know what you're doing, but what are you doing? [00:46:35] Speaker A: What it means is someone else is making decisions for you and you're not a grown up, and clearly you're here, but you don't want to be here. So someone's making decisions for you as if you're not a grown adult that could leave a company if they're not treating you right and talking down on position. [00:46:48] Speaker C: People actually say that to you? [00:46:49] Speaker B: Yes, they do. And it actually happens a lot. So since we're talking about, this is good, do you guys have a good response? Because I never know, but it irks me every single time. [00:46:59] Speaker C: Like, no, I chose this. [00:47:00] Speaker B: Okay, I'm going to do that. [00:47:02] Speaker C: For real. [00:47:02] Speaker B: I'm going to do it. [00:47:03] Speaker C: No, this is actually my favorite place to work. Just be like my favorite activity. [00:47:07] Speaker A: I got me down here. They, what you should do is the next time he's doing his job, just go, oh, they got you up here. Walk past him and be like, oh, man, they got you. [00:47:18] Speaker C: They got you down here. [00:47:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:20] Speaker B: Have you ever had people preach Bible things to you? [00:47:23] Speaker C: Yes. [00:47:24] Speaker A: I think people are too afraid and uncomfortable to do it to me. [00:47:26] Speaker C: God wants you to do this. God put you on this earth for a reason. I mean, you believe that? [00:47:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Religion is a weird small talk. [00:47:32] Speaker C: That's such a weird thing to say to someone who you don't know their religious beliefs. Yeah. [00:47:37] Speaker A: Like, if I'm like, hey, how are you? And they're like, God is good. I'm good. Another day under the Lord. I'm like, whoa. [00:47:44] Speaker C: Ten steps past people saying, merry Christmas. And people be like, oh, no, I'm jewish. You know what? [00:47:50] Speaker B: I'm actually pretty lucky because I get to use that phrase sometimes. Someone came up to me once to try to get me to join their Bible thing, and I was like, no, I'm jewish. And I kept walking. [00:47:59] Speaker A: Love. [00:47:59] Speaker B: It felt like a good excuse to get away. [00:48:02] Speaker A: It's a pretty solid excuse. [00:48:03] Speaker C: There was like, when I was in college, there was this man that was just, like, preaching on campus one day and telling everyone that they're going to go to hell and got something about free speech and how I don't even know how God is. We're impeding God's path by not letting people say shit. And I was like, aren't you the one saying, what about everyone else? Yeah, literally, what about everyone else who's not. Who doesn't believe in God? What about our muslim students here? [00:48:28] Speaker B: He's actively trying to impede on other people and what they're doing, but the difference is that they're not doing what you want them to do because it's not based on the Bible. [00:48:37] Speaker C: What about freedom of religion? You're talking about freedom of speech. [00:48:40] Speaker A: Yeah. You're over here talking about freedom of speech. Do I have the freedom to hate? [00:48:44] Speaker C: You read the constitution? I don't think so. [00:48:46] Speaker A: You don't even know how to read. The only thing you did was audible. You did audible the Bible. [00:48:50] Speaker C: I just remember this one guy was, like, yelling at him and he was like, you're going to burn in hell. [00:48:56] Speaker B: He thinks we're in the 15 hundreds at that point. [00:48:58] Speaker A: It's performance art. It's not even preaching. It's performance art. [00:49:02] Speaker C: So serious. [00:49:02] Speaker B: It's entertainment. [00:49:03] Speaker C: I have a video of it with. [00:49:06] Speaker B: Some religious people that I know. I actually will ask questions. To me, it's an exciting opportunity to be like, do you masturbate? Are you allowed to masturbate? [00:49:17] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:17] Speaker A: For me, I'm like, it's uninterested. I'm uninterested. If it's religion, I'm uninterested. I just come off as so sadistic and satirical in those conversations because I genuinely just don't believe any of it, and I'm annoyed by most of it. [00:49:31] Speaker C: Why are you wasting my time? [00:49:32] Speaker A: I'm like, it's just not a pleasant conversation to start with me because I'm just going to be like, what? [00:49:37] Speaker C: Just like, know where I stand. And you think you're going to change my mind right now by telling me that God loves me? [00:49:43] Speaker A: It's just a waste of time because I'm going to go. I'm not going to argue. I'm just going to go, yeah, that's wonderful. That's great. [00:49:49] Speaker C: I'd be like, good for you. I'm set. [00:49:51] Speaker A: I love that. [00:49:52] Speaker C: Yes, I do think religion can be a beautiful thing for some people and it can really motivate them. [00:49:57] Speaker A: But a personal relationship with God goes a long way. Let me tell you something. But that's. I use a small talk. Whenever someone says, how are you? Sometimes I say, you know something? I used to be an atheist, but now I wake up every day and see heaven. I'm so happy to be here. [00:50:12] Speaker C: God, that could be so real. [00:50:16] Speaker B: I found this list online. I'm kind of excited to go through it because I already saw something. There's like a list of right topics to talk about in small talk, specifically and wrong topics to talk about. And I already saw things in the wrong topics that I regularly bring up in small talk. [00:50:33] Speaker A: I'm excited for that. Yes, go. There's a timer on the board. [00:50:37] Speaker B: Here we go. Best topics. Weather. [00:50:39] Speaker A: Love. [00:50:39] Speaker C: Love. Weather. [00:50:40] Speaker B: Arts and entertainment. [00:50:41] Speaker A: Love. [00:50:41] Speaker B: Great. [00:50:42] Speaker C: Love. What's your favorite tv show? [00:50:43] Speaker A: But don't ever tell me you didn't have a childhood because you didn't watch SpongeBob. No, what I do now is I lie. If someone says, have you seen the movie? I go, yes, we move on. [00:50:51] Speaker C: No, but now that you like, it's on my list. [00:50:53] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. Move on. Move on. [00:50:54] Speaker B: I put a note in it, because if they have watched SpongeBob, then I can bring up quotes from SpongeBob later on. Because sometimes I bring up quotes. [00:51:01] Speaker C: SpongeBob quotes, dude. [00:51:03] Speaker B: Sometimes I go, this has happened multiple times at my current job, where I go, I won't go home. And they're just standing there, awkward, like, not sure how to respond. And I'm like, oh, fuck, they haven't seen SpongeBob. [00:51:19] Speaker A: They're like, where is home? Honey? [00:51:20] Speaker C: You don't get it. When I'm like, Alaskan Bullworm, then it was big. I mean, you just don't get that. We just don't have the same sense of humor. [00:51:28] Speaker B: Wait, is that the episode where he's fighting the tongue of it? [00:51:31] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:31] Speaker B: And then he's like, sandy, this isn't the worm. [00:51:35] Speaker A: And there's just like an echo and. [00:51:37] Speaker C: A drip and it mounts to the whole town. [00:51:44] Speaker B: Where are we at sports? [00:51:45] Speaker C: No, no, I don't want to talk about sports. Not interested. [00:51:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:51:48] Speaker B: Family, sure. Sometimes it can get dark. [00:51:50] Speaker C: It's got to get care about your kids. [00:51:52] Speaker A: Yeah, right. I'm not going to look at a. [00:51:54] Speaker C: Video of your knees recital. [00:51:56] Speaker B: Yeah, okay, but what if they're like, are you close with your parents? What do you think? [00:51:59] Speaker A: That's fine. [00:52:00] Speaker C: Big talk. [00:52:01] Speaker B: That's big talk, right? [00:52:03] Speaker A: Big talk. [00:52:03] Speaker B: Because if you grew up in some trauma, you're going to be pouring out some shit. [00:52:07] Speaker C: It depends, generally. All right, small talk. It's small talk, isn't it? [00:52:12] Speaker B: I'm down for it. Always. I don't care how little I've known you. [00:52:16] Speaker C: Someone's like, oh, I went to see my brother this weekend. We had dinner. I met his new girlfriend. [00:52:21] Speaker A: Okay, some shit that I don't want. And I also wiped my ass and went to the shower. Who cares? You went to what? So what? [00:52:30] Speaker C: What? People will say, that's family small talk for. [00:52:32] Speaker B: That's small talk. Yeah. Food, great, love. [00:52:35] Speaker A: Because I'll talk about food for 3 hours. [00:52:37] Speaker C: Give me your recipes. I won't make them. [00:52:39] Speaker A: Let's talk about it. [00:52:40] Speaker B: Do you like the texture of bananas, love. [00:52:42] Speaker C: That's all right. No, I don't like the texture. It kind of makes me gag, but. [00:52:45] Speaker B: I don't like the texture either. You're one of the few people that I have in common. They're great in banana bread. Love work. [00:52:53] Speaker C: I don't want to talk about work. I don't want to talk about. I'm not at work right now. Don't want to talk about it. It's 40 hours a week of my life. [00:53:00] Speaker A: For me, it's like work. If we work together, then we could talk about work. But if I'm a bartender and you're like a goals cashier, I don't know. What are we talking about? [00:53:09] Speaker B: It is pretty fun to talk about work with coworkers if you're out at the bar. But that gets tired quick. [00:53:15] Speaker A: It gets tired quick. [00:53:16] Speaker B: If you're still talking about work by the third bar trip, you have nothing else to talk about. [00:53:21] Speaker A: You haven't left the coworker subcategory travel? [00:53:24] Speaker B: No, absolutely not. [00:53:26] Speaker C: Oh, my God. At my job talking about work, we had these little water cooler breaks, they called them, which is like little zoom meetings. It was just like, oh, join if you want. We'll make small talk, essentially. And the last one was about travel. It was about travel or just people all the time will talk about travel and they're like, oh, what's your favorite travel? Destination. [00:53:44] Speaker B: It sounds like group therapy. [00:53:46] Speaker C: I can't go anywhere you're talking about. I don't have the money to travel to Europe. [00:53:50] Speaker A: They're always like, you have to travel, though. [00:53:53] Speaker B: You have to go to ibs. [00:53:53] Speaker A: Oh, my God. You have to. You have to go to Italy. You have to go to naples this time of year. [00:53:59] Speaker B: Oh, God, I bet nobody shows up. Did you go? [00:54:02] Speaker C: I went and they talked about it and it was whatever. [00:54:04] Speaker B: Was it boring, though? As fuck? [00:54:06] Speaker C: I wish I didn't go. [00:54:07] Speaker A: They talked about Prague because you can't. [00:54:09] Speaker B: Say, like, curse words or bring up. [00:54:11] Speaker C: Fun things like, yeah, I went to where? Like, I went to, I don't know, California. Have I been to Europe? People are like, oh, I'm going to go to Croatia. I'm going to go to Ireland. I'm like, I'm so jealous. [00:54:25] Speaker B: I'm so jealous. [00:54:26] Speaker C: It's boiling up inside. [00:54:28] Speaker A: I'm like, I hate. [00:54:29] Speaker B: I don't give a shit because I'm not going there. So what the fuck? [00:54:32] Speaker C: It's gloating because I want you go on vacation. [00:54:35] Speaker A: I'm like, I don't know. I borrowed my mom's car and drove to a gas station. [00:54:38] Speaker C: The money you're paying me at this job, I can't afford to do that. [00:54:42] Speaker B: It's so the first day of class, everyone say your name, go around, say your name, and something about yourself. [00:54:49] Speaker A: Love talking about myself, but hate, hate, hate. I don't know what I would say if someone said, tell me something about yourself. I would go, I don't know if. [00:54:58] Speaker C: Even in small talk, people are like, oh, I went, like, backpacking across Europe. [00:55:02] Speaker B: Unless I'm about to go backpacking, and I need some advice. I do not care. [00:55:09] Speaker A: Like, you went backpacking already. You lived that experience once. You don't need to live it a second time with me talking about it because I don't want to live you going backpacking. [00:55:18] Speaker B: Don't worry, your experience is still valid if I don't know what it is. [00:55:21] Speaker C: The issue is that I'm jealous. I'm deeply jealous, and I want to do all of that so badly, but I don't have the means necessary to do that. [00:55:28] Speaker B: And also, it's just, like, not fun. [00:55:31] Speaker C: If you've never done it. Exactly. I want to live it. I don't want to hear about someone else's experience. [00:55:37] Speaker B: Here's a good one and one that's fun. Celebrity gossip, love. [00:55:42] Speaker A: Absolutely love. [00:55:43] Speaker C: Who's the next Kardashian boyfriend? [00:55:46] Speaker A: Right? [00:55:46] Speaker B: I live under a rock, so for me, it's very much fun when people give me some shit, and sometimes it's good. Like the Lizzo thing. I was in the dark, and they just started talking about it, and I'm like, wait, what? [00:55:58] Speaker A: I could tell Holly that Britney Spears shaved her head in 2007. She'd be like, when? [00:56:03] Speaker B: Hobbies. I'm down for it. If you're a dork about something, I'm interested. [00:56:07] Speaker C: I like to see some passion in someone. [00:56:09] Speaker B: Like, what's the hubbub about this category of life? [00:56:14] Speaker C: Or if we have something in common, if we share a hobby. As if I have hobbies. [00:56:19] Speaker A: I hate the question more than anything. What do you do? I'll be at work, and people are like, what do you do? And I'm like, I'm at work. Obviously. This is what I do. No, what do you do outside of work? I'm like, I don't know. [00:56:29] Speaker C: You do. [00:56:30] Speaker A: So I hate that question. [00:56:31] Speaker C: You have a podcast. [00:56:32] Speaker A: Because I'm not going to be like, I do a podcast. Because then they're like, oh, where do you go to school? What company signed you? [00:56:38] Speaker B: Maybe what you could do is, now that you gave me a chore, assigned me a chore of explaining to you this, you now have a chore to listen to my podcast. [00:56:45] Speaker A: Give us five stars. [00:56:46] Speaker C: Hey, it's good advertising, Michael. [00:56:47] Speaker A: True. [00:56:48] Speaker B: Tell me about yourself. Can you ask something, like, specific? Because that's too big. [00:56:52] Speaker C: That's an excruciating question. [00:56:54] Speaker A: I hate that question. [00:56:55] Speaker B: That's too big. It's too hate. [00:56:57] Speaker A: Tell me everything about yourself in four words. Like, I hate that I'm a hardworking. [00:57:01] Speaker B: Do I describe traits or do I describe regurgitated bullshit? [00:57:06] Speaker C: Do I treat this like a job interview? [00:57:08] Speaker A: Because that's not what this is. [00:57:09] Speaker B: Hometown. Down. [00:57:11] Speaker A: Just totally down. If we have the same. [00:57:12] Speaker C: Well, not necessarily. If people want to go into detail about people from high school. [00:57:18] Speaker A: Actually, no, I take it totally back. You are so right. [00:57:20] Speaker C: Talk about it all. I don't care. [00:57:22] Speaker A: I feel nauseous to my stomach when I hear names that I thought I avoided for ten years. [00:57:27] Speaker B: No, but sometimes, if they're from the deep south or from some other country. Yeah, I want to hear about it. [00:57:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:57:36] Speaker C: If we didn't share a hometown, I'll hear about your hometown. If we did, I don't want to hear about the people. [00:57:41] Speaker B: No, but if we did and I met you in the city, I'd be like, oh, yeah. Oh, fuck, where are you from? [00:57:50] Speaker A: But I hate. Because I've seen very occasionally people from our hometown in the city, and it's like, yay and fun. But when I'm visiting our hometown and I run into someone and they're like, have you talked to insert name of someone that I haven't heard of in five years? I'm like, I don't want to do this. No, I moved on. I grew up. Nice to see you. Bye. [00:58:09] Speaker C: What about bad small talk topics? [00:58:12] Speaker B: Finances, hate. [00:58:14] Speaker C: Hate. [00:58:14] Speaker A: Even though it's all this podcast is, us talking about how poor we are. [00:58:17] Speaker B: Politics and religion. [00:58:18] Speaker C: Love it. [00:58:19] Speaker B: I used to love the politics talk, but now I hate it. [00:58:22] Speaker A: I love it. If I agree with your politics, if. [00:58:24] Speaker C: It'S like someone that I want to debate, if I have opposite, no, I don't want to debate. [00:58:28] Speaker B: I feel like both of them. I don't want to debate going to get through to me also, if we agree, that's where it ends, period. We agree. We don't have to talk about what we agree about religion. [00:58:37] Speaker C: If we don't agree on religion, I'm. [00:58:40] Speaker A: Not talking about it. [00:58:40] Speaker C: I'm not trying to convert you. You better not be trying to convert me. [00:58:44] Speaker B: Yeah, I feel like religion, it becomes deep talk, and I have to first establish whether or not things are going to get sensitive or if it's going to be just a philosophical conversation. [00:58:54] Speaker A: I love conversations about religion. They're like, fuck that. [00:58:57] Speaker B: Yeah, sex down. [00:58:59] Speaker A: I'll talk about the graphicst of sexual activities with a complete stranger. [00:59:04] Speaker B: Yeah, literally. Literally. [00:59:06] Speaker A: I have no boundaries. It's exciting and it's hilarious. At the end of the day, what we do here, we complain. I love complaining. Tell me about your bad sex experiences. [00:59:15] Speaker C: I love to complain about. [00:59:16] Speaker A: It's a lot of fun. [00:59:18] Speaker B: Death. [00:59:19] Speaker C: Don't want to talk about it. [00:59:20] Speaker B: What I will do is this. I'm afraid to die. [00:59:23] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what I was about to say. Are we talking about like, oh, are you afraid of death? [00:59:27] Speaker A: We could talk about our own deaths, like the theories of death. [00:59:30] Speaker C: But even that, I'm like, yes, I'm afraid of death. Well, I don't know. [00:59:33] Speaker B: I'll get right into it. [00:59:34] Speaker C: Maybe we can get into it because. [00:59:36] Speaker B: That'S raw and like, about the human experience. Yeah, appearance, no. [00:59:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:59:41] Speaker C: No, but I mean, what are we talking about? [00:59:43] Speaker B: Very superficial. [00:59:44] Speaker A: It's one thing to compliment somebody that's great and wonderful, but I don't know, small talk about appearance. Are you talking about someone else's appearance? Like, do you see what they're wearing? [00:59:52] Speaker C: I feel like it's more like someone comes up to you like, hey, little mommy, you're looking fine. Tonight. [00:59:57] Speaker B: Personal gossip? Yeah. If it's personal, another person's not part. [01:00:01] Speaker C: Of that, then, yeah, I love personal gossip. Tell me about your friends who are, like, having an argument. Tell me about your falling out. [01:00:09] Speaker A: People always say to me like, I'm sorry. I'm like, dumping. I'm like, dump. [01:00:12] Speaker C: Dump on me. [01:00:13] Speaker A: Dump. [01:00:13] Speaker B: Well, okay. [01:00:14] Speaker A: Yeah, to a certain degree. I mean, there's a lot. [01:00:16] Speaker B: It's like, if you're talking about your two friends fighting, unless it's sort of like a bigger scale thing of like, I don't know. Unless it involves you, like, oh, well, I'm struggling with my two friends because I'm on both of their sides. It has to involve you. [01:00:30] Speaker C: I feel like in those situations, it's someone looking for someone to relate to them, and I can be like, yes. Oh, my God. This is just like this thing that happened to me. And then it's good for both of them because everyone feels like they got something out of their system and then. [01:00:42] Speaker A: Let the conversation go. Don't keep. If you are starting with a story about someone that I don't know, and the conversation starts moving, there better be a point. Move on. [01:00:49] Speaker C: There better be a point. [01:00:50] Speaker A: Right? Read the room. [01:00:52] Speaker B: And also, just like, a side note regarding the friends thing. I've seen friends do it to new people of, like, we do this and we do that. Listen to our friend group stories that you're not a part of, and it's, like, really hard to watch. [01:01:08] Speaker A: Yeah. If it's a three way conversation that you're joining in on of two people. [01:01:12] Speaker C: That know each other, then you're not really in that conversation, are you? [01:01:15] Speaker A: It's not. You're just sitting there watching a conversation happen. [01:01:17] Speaker C: If someone wants to tell you the gossip about their personal experiences, it means that it was entertaining to them, and then it's probably a good story. And I feel like it would probably better be. Yeah, it better be a good story. It better be interesting to hear about. But I feel like could be. [01:01:31] Speaker A: I feel like in my personal. [01:01:32] Speaker C: I would love to hear it. [01:01:34] Speaker A: I think I get along with strangers very well, and I think it's probably because I never talk about my personal life to people I don't know. I don't even talk about my personal life to people I do know. I'm not going up to strangers and telling them my deepest. People do that. People open up with just, like, their deepest. All walls down, full intimacy. [01:01:53] Speaker B: And I engage because I think some people need it. [01:01:55] Speaker A: Some people need it, but I'm not returning the favor. I'm not then, like, opening up myself. [01:01:59] Speaker B: But the thing is, the people who usually need it don't want you to, is what I noticed. They want to talk about themselves. They haven't learned yet how to listen. They still need to be listened to. I think offensive jokes love. [01:02:12] Speaker A: Well, it depends. Depends if they're, like, crazy and disgusting. But if they're funny, then love. Like, if you're a good person with a good sense of humor and you make a joke that's funny and it's not safe for work, whatever. I love it. [01:02:23] Speaker C: If it's blatantly racist, then absolutely not. [01:02:26] Speaker B: Narrow topics. I don't know what that means. [01:02:30] Speaker A: Me neither. Moving on. [01:02:31] Speaker C: It's like, let's talk about floorboards. [01:02:34] Speaker A: Love floorboards. Holly likes them when they're, like, dark with, like, a olive green wall, you know? [01:02:40] Speaker B: That's funny. You could make something. Yeah, you could actually. Narrow topics can be turned into. [01:02:44] Speaker A: I love a narrow topic. I love if someone says, how many ketchup packets is too much. [01:02:49] Speaker C: I love it. [01:02:50] Speaker A: I love narrow topics. [01:02:51] Speaker C: This is the best topic yet because. [01:02:54] Speaker B: It'S the limitation that allows you to think outside the box. [01:02:58] Speaker A: Because I'll get passionate about it. [01:03:00] Speaker B: Do you like salty and sweet? [01:03:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, where do you rank? [01:03:03] Speaker C: Unami, what kind of facade do you want to see outside of a house? [01:03:06] Speaker A: Yes. Because I want to see stucco or, like, an exposed brick. [01:03:09] Speaker C: Right. [01:03:10] Speaker B: Health. [01:03:10] Speaker A: No, bad, bad small talk. Hate that. We could lump Covid into that, too. Like, enough. [01:03:16] Speaker C: That's not exactly small talk, though, because you're not really talking about it. It's just like a nice little remark. [01:03:21] Speaker B: You know what? I want to say that I agree with that. But if someone has a family that's going through health issues and it's just something that's happening in their life, I have twice rebroad up the subject upon seeing them. How are they doing? And they've appreciated it. [01:03:36] Speaker C: I do think that's important, but also, I guess I feel like that's another thing that's like, is it small talk or is it big talk? [01:03:42] Speaker A: That's big talk. [01:03:42] Speaker B: It's big talk. But you don't have to wait till you're close to the person to ask. I do think even if you barely know them, they'll appreciate it if the next time you come to work or wherever you see them. [01:03:53] Speaker A: How is everything? [01:03:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:54] Speaker A: When I first heard health, I thought it was somebody asking me, are you healthy? And I was like, fuck no, but. [01:03:59] Speaker B: That'S totally could mean that. But I do think we get a little sometimes. That's none of your business. Don't ask. Or someone else's problems makes me uncomfortable, so I'm not going to talk about it. But that person is. They're living through fear and angst and anxiety and walking around while everyone else is having a normal ass day. I feel like it's hard. And that's that movie, tv entertainment. [01:04:25] Speaker C: Great. [01:04:25] Speaker A: I love movie and tv until the second I don't know the movie, and then it's the worst conversation I've ever had. [01:04:31] Speaker C: If I'm having conversation with two other people, and then they both know the movie, and I'm like, no, I haven't seen it. [01:04:36] Speaker A: Like, I'll walk away. [01:04:37] Speaker B: They're like, oh, my God, it's so good. Blah, blah. [01:04:39] Speaker A: I hate that you have. I'm like, talk about the movie, and I'll be over here minding my business. Don't turn the conversation to me. Is the center point. [01:04:47] Speaker B: That is the reason why I watched Game of Thrones is because I wanted to be a part of the conversation. [01:04:50] Speaker C: I noticed that I was resisting it for years. I'm starting now, and now I'm the person that's like, you have to watch. [01:04:57] Speaker B: But it's fun to be a part of the conversation. Game of Thrones, something like that. It's a community. [01:05:02] Speaker A: Happy 2024. [01:05:04] Speaker B: It's a new year. It's fresh start. Get your toothpaste, get your floss, and don't, like, freshen up your pussy. [01:05:12] Speaker C: I like that. [01:05:13] Speaker B: Holly. Yes. [01:05:14] Speaker C: Dental health 2024. [01:05:16] Speaker B: Get your crisp apples. No, it's not in season. It's pear season. Just kidding. I have no idea. [01:05:24] Speaker C: I never liked pears. [01:05:26] Speaker A: Love pears. [01:05:27] Speaker C: I don't like the sandy texture. [01:05:29] Speaker A: Love a sandy pear. I never feel like, oh, my God, another year older. I'm old now. I feel 98 years old. So every year that happens, I'm like, okay, it makes a little more sense for me. [01:05:40] Speaker B: It's like, I would have liked to have more money by this age is my concern. [01:05:45] Speaker C: Yeah, me too. Wouldn't we all? [01:05:46] Speaker B: Yeah. It just bothers me when there's, like, a new hot celebrity in town, in Hollywood who's, like, 16, and I'm like, jeez, yes. [01:05:56] Speaker C: Get the Billie Eilishes out of here. [01:05:57] Speaker A: Love, Billie Eilish. But, like, I'll forgive you for your age, but that's something that needs to be forgiven. [01:06:02] Speaker B: Yeah, it's definitely something I'm bitter about. But anyways, spring is coming. It's the day of love. [01:06:15] Speaker C: Ow. [01:06:15] Speaker A: Ow. Oh. Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Galentine's day of the year, JK. [01:06:28] Speaker B: The most fabulous day of the year. [01:06:31] Speaker A: Hashtag, let us know who's celebrating. Hashtag Galentine's day. [01:06:35] Speaker C: We're the gals. [01:06:35] Speaker B: If you're on your way to a fancy date at a five star restaurant, don't forget to put on apartment one. [01:06:43] Speaker A: R. You love us. [01:06:45] Speaker C: And if you're sitting in your bedroom alone on Valentine's Day, you know what that. [01:06:52] Speaker A: Are? A couple rose petals around the room. [01:06:54] Speaker B: You're not alone. [01:06:55] Speaker C: We're sending love. [01:06:56] Speaker A: Life is like a box of chocolates. [01:06:58] Speaker C: Apartment one r. You always know what you're going to get. [01:07:02] Speaker A: Yes. [01:07:02] Speaker B: Love is in the air. Sex is in the air. Not everyone's a part of it. [01:07:07] Speaker A: Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. President. [01:07:15] Speaker B: It's time for us to fuck off. [01:07:18] Speaker A: Go ahead and fuck off. What do you even drink it? What do you even pick up at the coffee shop on Valentine's Day? Nothing. [01:07:23] Speaker C: I guess a hot chocolate velvet. [01:07:26] Speaker A: Oh, come on. [01:07:27] Speaker C: Not because they're red. [01:07:28] Speaker B: Pick yourself something up. Nice. [01:07:30] Speaker C: Whether it's get yourself some red velvet. [01:07:32] Speaker B: Or if you're sharing and you have to split, I know, it sucks. [01:07:36] Speaker C: Don't split. [01:07:37] Speaker A: No, split it. [01:07:38] Speaker C: No. [01:07:39] Speaker A: Split the molten lava cake. Let that spaghetti noodle twirl betwixt your lips like your lady in the tram. [01:07:46] Speaker B: Go like that. While you're right next to someone's face. [01:07:49] Speaker A: Chew with your mouth open across the table at a two top in a crowded restaurant. [01:07:53] Speaker C: Oh, share a milkshake. [01:07:55] Speaker A: You love us. You love us. [01:07:58] Speaker B: And it's the day of love. [01:08:00] Speaker A: You're home, darling. Welcome back. [01:08:03] Speaker B: We have candy. [01:08:04] Speaker A: Get in the car. Kira, thank you so much for coming. [01:08:09] Speaker B: Get in the car. Enter on apartment. [01:08:16] Speaker C: Coordinated? [01:08:17] Speaker A: No, but you'd have thought so. Right? Thank you so much for coming. [01:08:21] Speaker B: Thank you for coming on the show. Kira. [01:08:23] Speaker A: Holly. Thank you for having us. Let us know down in the comments. [01:08:28] Speaker C: Below what you down under? [01:08:31] Speaker A: Let us know down under. Yeah. Let us know how you're spending your Valentine's Day. And the answer better be with apartment. Yeah. [01:08:41] Speaker B: Because I'm just going to just say something real quick. Fuck Valentine's Day. The reality is, fuck Valentine's Day. [01:08:48] Speaker A: Restaurant date. [01:08:49] Speaker C: It's a Hallmark holiday. [01:08:50] Speaker A: I'm bitter. [01:08:51] Speaker C: Just made for capitalism, the epitome of the Hallmark holiday. [01:08:55] Speaker A: And I'm not going to a crowded ass restaurant on the only day when the restaurant isn't enjoyable. No. So don't spend Valentine's Day miserable. Come over to the apartment. One r baby sketches. You better off here, go get a Hershey's dark chocolate bar and watch yourself. [01:09:10] Speaker B: An episode of Game of Thrones, a violent, torturous show. [01:09:14] Speaker C: Watch a loving episode like the Red wedding. [01:09:17] Speaker A: Or watch that first episode where Jason Momoa shows us why we love him. [01:09:22] Speaker B: Probably at this very moment, we are know it's a busy day for the restaurant industry. [01:09:30] Speaker A: I better not still be at my job if anyone's hiring bartenders in New York City. [01:09:34] Speaker B: Hey, when you're walking around the hallways of your job, go. It's brick titties in here. [01:09:40] Speaker A: My nipples look like bottle caps. [01:09:42] Speaker B: My nipples could scratch glass. I'm carving glass tonight with my nipples. I'm making some pottery art with my nipples tonight. Politeness is out. Vulgarness is in. [01:09:55] Speaker A: Vulgarness is so in. And the next time you don't know what to talk about with a stranger, just say, hey, what perturbs you? What pisses you off? What makes you look at someone and think, are you joking? Don't get bitter. Just come down to the apartment one r instagram and leave a comment below. [01:10:10] Speaker C: There's a quote from Love island of this girl who says in her irish accent, she's like, are you joking? That's what my internal monologue says all the time. So I'm going to look out for. [01:10:19] Speaker A: That, that hashtag, are you joking? Are you joking? I can't do it. Irish. [01:10:24] Speaker C: Are you joking? [01:10:25] Speaker A: Oh, you're good. [01:10:27] Speaker B: Yeah, you are good. [01:10:28] Speaker A: You got some gingers up in there you don't know about. [01:10:30] Speaker C: I've just watched hours upon hours of UK Love island. [01:10:34] Speaker B: I'm obsessed with that characteristic of you. By Happy Valentine's Day, love. [01:10:40] Speaker A: You mean it?
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