#15 - POETRY

[00:00:00] Speaker A: All right, let's get this party started. This headset is squeezing my brain. [00:00:05] Speaker B: Is it recording? [00:00:06] Speaker A: Yes, it is recordy. [00:00:08] Speaker B: Hold on. [00:00:19] Speaker A: Back to another episode of apartment one r. I'm ha. And I'm Michael. [00:00:24] Speaker B: I'm definitely. Yeah, let's stick with that. How are you guys? Welcome back. We're sat here with our usual expired wine, ready to chat. [00:00:35] Speaker A: So before we get into today's topic, Michael, what perturbs? [00:00:40] Speaker B: You know, it's always so hard to narrow it down to just one, but I think I've settled. Know, we just got over holiday season, did a lot of cooking, and with a lot of cooking comes a lot of recipe seeking. Now, what perturbs me is when I go onto a recipe and instead of finding a recipe, I find a novel about somebody's life. [00:01:04] Speaker A: Their nana. [00:01:05] Speaker B: Yeah. On how their nona taught them how to make the meatballs back in 1968 while their alcoholic father screams from the other room. [00:01:14] Speaker A: It was the thing that kept them warm and safe at night. [00:01:17] Speaker B: Where is the recipe? [00:01:19] Speaker A: Before you get into the recipe, you need to know why this is very special to this particular person, right? No. Where's the recipe? Where's the measurements? First of all, I want the measurements right away. [00:01:29] Speaker B: Open the page. I want to see a picture. I want to see the measurements. And then a quick little do. Tara, do this, do that, do that. 350 for 45 minutes until the oven, until golden brown. Done. [00:01:39] Speaker A: I don't need to know to add your little blog about the recipe. Do it at the end because I. [00:01:45] Speaker B: Don'T want to sit here and scroll and scroll and scroll. [00:01:47] Speaker A: Because you're not just going to be scrolling through this person's biography, you're going to be scrolling through ads. [00:01:53] Speaker B: Right? There's a blurb in 1942 in the english mountains. Like, I don't care. I want to know how to make my samosas. And when I'm at work, a lot of times people will ask for a cocktail that I've never heard of. So as all bartenders do, I say absolutely. And then go over to the corner and Google how to make it. Now I'm on the fly. I'm on the clock. There's a customer waiting. It's a high tense situation. It's a time sensitive situation. And instead of just getting a quick little recipe, I have to scroll through 45 minutes of the Narnia. I have to go through the Narnia trilogy. I have to go through Harry Potter. [00:02:28] Speaker A: Yeah. It's a special kind of frustration. You know what? There's a place to direct the anger. And it's you. [00:02:35] Speaker B: Yeah. No, because there is like a serious personal hatred when that happens. It's not, oh, I'm mad at the moment. I'm mad at the idea. No, I'm mad at you for doing that. [00:02:47] Speaker A: Yeah. It makes me hesitate to look shit up because I'm like, oh, here we go. I'm going to have to scroll through all of your bullshit. [00:02:55] Speaker B: Like, if I'm googling how do I make strawberry shortcake? What makes you think that I want to read 45 pages about it? [00:03:01] Speaker A: You think I got time for that? [00:03:02] Speaker B: You think anybody has time for that? How do you have time for that? To sit there and write that it should be punishable by death in this country? I'm not kidding. [00:03:10] Speaker A: Yeah, let's move on from that. [00:03:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:12] Speaker A: The blog thing. I don't know. I think we need to. [00:03:15] Speaker B: Blogs are over. [00:03:16] Speaker A: Blogs are a pastime, bitch. [00:03:17] Speaker B: Move on, move on, move on. And if you want a vlog, fine, but leave my recipes out of it. Yeah. [00:03:25] Speaker A: I should have a choice as to whether or not I'm getting a story or a recipe. Because if I'm getting a recipe, that means I'm probably going into like a half hour to 2 hours of cooking time. Don't add an extra 30 minutes of me being frustrated reading. [00:03:40] Speaker B: And I'm like, it's not like, oh, there's a story. And then an easy to read recipe right after they salt and pepper the recipe in through the story. So it'll be like 15 minutes. You're literally solving a puzzle like it's Ripley's believe it or not. It's too much. [00:03:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:56] Speaker B: You're reading a little blurb about how somebody's grandmother was living in the hills of Versailles and spoke German and then preheat the oven to 350. [00:04:06] Speaker A: Yeah, literally. [00:04:07] Speaker B: And then back to the alcoholic father. You could hear him yelling from the other room, bake until golden brown. Let's pick a lane and stay there. [00:04:15] Speaker A: We just want things to be easy. Life's hard. [00:04:19] Speaker B: Life's so hard. And now I have to read about your nona. I don't wanna. [00:04:24] Speaker A: You can remember the smells from when you were just a girl. [00:04:27] Speaker B: I just want cookies. Like, I don't want to read that. I don't like reading. I just want cake. I don't understand what's so hard. Okay, it's just you and me here. Are you joking? [00:04:47] Speaker A: Okay, so today we're doing a couple things. We're having a little fun today. [00:04:52] Speaker B: Yeah, we're going to have a little fun. We're challenging ourselves. We want to know why? Because we're here to learn. We're here to grow with you guys. So every time me and Holly say the word, like, we have to drink. [00:05:02] Speaker A: And also, I want to say that there is no prep for this episode. [00:05:05] Speaker B: None. [00:05:05] Speaker A: The second thing that we're going to be doing is reading poetry from this book, the Penguin Anthology, 20th century American Poetry. I know about three words in that sentence. [00:05:17] Speaker B: Yeah. So I don't read. So this is going to be fun. [00:05:19] Speaker A: So this is going to be fun. [00:05:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:21] Speaker A: But you are good with language. [00:05:23] Speaker B: Sure. [00:05:24] Speaker A: And metaphors and such. [00:05:25] Speaker B: Sure. [00:05:27] Speaker A: How should we go about this? Should we each pick a random ass. [00:05:30] Speaker B: Page, flip through and land on a poem and say it? [00:05:33] Speaker A: Okay, I guess I'll flip through one, read it, and then we'll analyze, and then you flip through one. Read it. [00:05:38] Speaker B: We're going to play a game called read that poem up first, Holly. [00:05:44] Speaker A: Okay, here we go. Oh, God. The thing is, though, we're basically just. [00:05:50] Speaker B: Seeing if we could read poems. Okay. [00:05:52] Speaker A: This is called Cottage Street, 1953. I'm frightened. Framed in her Phoenix fire screen, Edna Ward bends to the tray of canton, pouring tea for frightened Mrs. Plath, then turning toward the pale, slumped daughter. And my wife. And me. Okay, so we have a husband. [00:06:13] Speaker B: Pale, slumped daughter was my name in college. [00:06:17] Speaker A: Why? [00:06:18] Speaker B: I don't know. I love it. I resonate with it. I feel like I saw myself in that poem. [00:06:22] Speaker A: Wait, so what does that mean? Is she dead or what? [00:06:24] Speaker B: I don't know. Let's read on. [00:06:26] Speaker A: Asks if we. Okay, hold on. I just want to go back for a quick second. Pouring tea for frightened Mrs. Plath. Okay, so I think we're dealing with a murder here. Or a death. We're dealing with a death of the daughter because the mother is frightened. She's getting tea. Moving forward. So I think Edna Ward asks if we would prefer it weak or strong. Will we have milk or lemon? She inquires. The visit seems already strained and long. I get that, buddy. Each, in his turn, we tell her our desires. This is a weird poem. [00:06:59] Speaker B: I'm like, is it? What is this, Spiderman? I don't know what's going on? [00:07:02] Speaker A: It is my office. To exemplify the published poet in his happiness, thus cheering Sylvia, who has wished to die. [00:07:10] Speaker B: Wait. [00:07:11] Speaker A: Sylvia Plath? [00:07:12] Speaker B: Lana del Rey? Hold on. [00:07:15] Speaker A: Wait. What's going on? [00:07:16] Speaker B: Did we stumble across Lana Del Rey like a goddamn near sociopath? [00:07:21] Speaker A: Wait, does Sylvia Plath have a kid? Oh, wait. [00:07:25] Speaker B: Is that the gray, slumped daughter? [00:07:27] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Okay. All right. I'm just going to continue. Thus cheering Sylvia, who has wished to die, but half ashamed and impotent to bless. I don't know what that means. [00:07:40] Speaker B: I will just put in really quick that our catchphrase, what perturbs you. Was spelt wrong by me all over our instagram for the first six months. So that's good to know. [00:07:52] Speaker A: I am a stupid lifeguard who has found, swept to his shallows by the tide. A girl who, far from shore, has been immensely drowned. And stares through water now with eyes of pearl. What do we think? Is that literal? [00:08:06] Speaker B: She's dead in the water. [00:08:07] Speaker A: Did they pull her out of the water? [00:08:09] Speaker B: Pulled her out of the water. And now she's slumped in white like a beach dwell, which was also my name in college. [00:08:14] Speaker A: The guy is a lifeguard. How large is her refusal and how slight, that gentle, that genteel chat whereby we recommends life of a summer afternoon despite the brewing dusk, which hints that it may end. Okay, here's what I'm thinking. He's saying, it was such a nice day, and now someone's dead. They were going to live life. They were going to go to the beach. [00:08:37] Speaker B: They were going to celebrate. And now they're faced with the moral question. What is life? [00:08:42] Speaker A: And Edna Ward shall die in 15 years. We still don't know who this Edna is. After her eight and 80 summers. 88 eightye of such grace and courage as permits. No tears. The thin hand reaching out the last word. Love. Outliving Sylvia, who, condemned to live, shall study for a decade as she must to state at last her brilliant negative in poems free and helpless and unjust. [00:09:09] Speaker B: Was that a poem? [00:09:11] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:09:12] Speaker B: Or was that just, like, an excerpt? [00:09:14] Speaker A: Yeah. Now I'm starting to think that. [00:09:16] Speaker B: Is this just like the table of contents? [00:09:19] Speaker A: Wait, I'm going to double check. That's not the case. [00:09:22] Speaker B: I feel like we're just reading the table of context. Like, whoa. What does it mean? [00:09:27] Speaker A: Okay, this poem's by. No, I think it goes like this. It's showing the poet. And then a bunch of poems by that poet, Richard Wilbur. By the way, born in New York. [00:09:37] Speaker B: City, a city girl. [00:09:41] Speaker A: Your turn. [00:09:42] Speaker B: Here we go. Okay, Mary, I got to pick something in my range. Why are they so long, mama, I just want a little one poem. At 30 it is midnight. No magical, bewitching hour for me. I know only that I am here waiting. Remembering that once as a child I walked 2 miles in my sleep. Did I know then where I was going? Traveling I'm always traveling. I want to tell you about me, about nights on a brown couch when I wrapped my bones in lint and refused to move. No. [00:10:26] Speaker A: Why do I feel like this is very relatable? [00:10:28] Speaker B: Okay, continue. Sorry. Okay. [00:10:32] Speaker A: You ended with the lint part. [00:10:33] Speaker B: I wrapped my bones. I wrapped my bones in lint and refused to move. [00:10:42] Speaker A: Wait. [00:10:43] Speaker B: No one. No one touches me anymore. [00:10:47] Speaker A: Oh, man. This poor guy. [00:10:50] Speaker B: Father, do not send me out among strangers. You. Oh, it gets racial. [00:10:57] Speaker A: I did not see. I thought it was about insomnia. [00:11:00] Speaker B: I don't know. Maybe it doesn't. You. You black man. Stretching, scraping the mold from your body. Here is my hand. I am not afraid of the night. [00:11:10] Speaker A: What's the deal with that? The black man, why does he have moldy skin? [00:11:15] Speaker B: I mean, maybe he's not a literal black man, but like a shadow, like an entity. It's pretty dark. Pretty dark. [00:11:24] Speaker A: Can you read, like, the last few lines again? [00:11:26] Speaker B: I'm always traveling. I want to tell you about me, about nights on a brown couch when I wrapped my bones in lint and refused to move. No one touches me anymore. Father, do not send me out among strangers. You. You black man. Stretching, scraping the mold from your body. Here is my hand. I am not afraid of the night. [00:11:49] Speaker A: I feel like it's him being depressed and his dad being like, you got to get a job. You can't live on my couch anymore. [00:11:56] Speaker B: I guess. [00:11:57] Speaker A: What are you thinking? [00:11:58] Speaker B: I mean, the whole thing is very interpretive. It's very. To each his own. [00:12:04] Speaker A: I envision that he's, like, laying in bed at 02:00 a.m. [00:12:07] Speaker B: It's just some greasy, depressed bitch being like, I don't want to get up. Which I get. I am that greasy, depressed bitch. [00:12:16] Speaker A: And then maybe remembering when he was a kid and he slept because he was sleepwalking, traveling, traveling in his sleep. He was traveling in his sleep, but not while he was awake during the daytime. [00:12:27] Speaker B: At night is when he travels. Travels, explores, comes to life. But throughout the day is when we're really asleep in this machine we call reality. A lot of poetry is very. [00:12:38] Speaker A: Just like slaves. [00:12:39] Speaker B: Doth thine knoweth went thine clothes done. [00:12:46] Speaker A: That was by Sonya Sanchez in 1934, by the way. [00:12:50] Speaker B: Ow. Doth thine knoweth thine? [00:12:54] Speaker A: Robert Hass of 1941. [00:12:57] Speaker B: Uhoh. [00:12:58] Speaker A: Who? The pornographer. He has finished a day's work placing his pencil in a marmalade jar. What's a marmalade jar? [00:13:06] Speaker B: Probably just a mason jar that once had marmalade. [00:13:10] Speaker A: I'm just going to say now I'm the type of person. I'm going to stop every two sentences. [00:13:13] Speaker B: Hey, that's okay. [00:13:14] Speaker A: Which is colored the soft gray. Hold on. Placing his pencil in a marmalade jar. Which is colored the soft gray of a crumbling chinese wall in a Sierra meadow, he walks from his shed into the afternoon. I guess the shed is where the pornography happens. That's my prediction. Where? Oreolas. [00:13:32] Speaker B: Areolas. [00:13:34] Speaker A: It starts with an o. Oreolas. [00:13:38] Speaker B: I don't know, Mama. Let's save that one for Google, you know what I mean? [00:13:41] Speaker A: Rise aflame from the orchard. Oh, it's probably a flower. If I had just finished the sentence. [00:13:46] Speaker B: Maybe this is why we don't stop. [00:13:48] Speaker A: He likes the sun, and he is tired of the art he has spent on the brown starfish anus of his heroine, the wet duck's feather, tufts of armpit and thigh tender and rosy eight. And foldings of labia with labia, labia within labia, the pressure and darkness and long sudden falls from slippery stone in the minds of the men and anonymous tongues in his book. When he relaxes, old images return. He is probably in Central Asia. Once again. He has marched to the wall. All the faces are impassive. Now he is blinded. There is a long silence in which he images clearly the endless sky and the horizon, swift with clouds, scuds each time, in imagination, he attempts to stand as calmly as possible in what is sometimes morning warmth, sometimes evening chill. I'm not sure what I got from that. [00:14:46] Speaker B: I haven't seen that much labia on Labia action since my last trip to Home Depot. [00:14:51] Speaker A: I feel like fuck. Sorry, I gotta take a sip, take a talk. I feel like we're fuck. [00:14:57] Speaker B: I like starfish anus. Something about feathers. [00:15:02] Speaker A: But then all of a sudden, we're in Central Asia with a wall. [00:15:05] Speaker B: Right. [00:15:06] Speaker A: Maybe he came from Central Asia where there was some trauma there. So every time he gets a break from the sex, he thinks about it. [00:15:13] Speaker B: Or he's just living in Central Asia and he writes porn. It's very much like the Watt pad porn of 1940 or whenever that was. [00:15:23] Speaker A: Oh, you think he writes porn? [00:15:25] Speaker B: Yeah, because he put his pen down, right? Oh, it's wattpad porn. It's fan fiction. He's like Gorbachrov slowly runs his hand up leg. He's like Truman's throbbing member. [00:15:43] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't get this one very much. [00:15:45] Speaker B: The thing about reading is like you're reading, you're too busy reading to think about what it is. Yeah, that's why I like podcasts. Hi, big shout out to Apple podcasts. And Spotify. This one's nice and little, right in my ability. Harlem, what happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun or fester like a sore and then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags like a heavy load. Okay, my last trip to Fire island. Or does it explode? Also my last trip to Fire island. [00:16:33] Speaker A: So that's what I've been wondering. [00:16:35] Speaker B: What happens to a dream deferred? [00:16:37] Speaker A: Does it end in heartbreak or does it just dwindle? Is what I'm getting from this. [00:16:43] Speaker B: Does it shatter or does it fade? And all of a sudden it's 40 years, and you look back on your life. When you saw your name in Hollywood, you saw your lights up on those Beverly Hills signs, shining like a beacon in the distance for all of those to see. Or does it explode in your face? [00:17:03] Speaker A: This one's funny. It's called in celebration of my uterus. Okay, here we go. [00:17:08] Speaker B: Let's get ready. [00:17:10] Speaker A: Anne Sexton. [00:17:11] Speaker B: You said that we were reading poetry. I didn't realize that it was, like, dark. It's either, like, dark depressive or it's like starfish pussy. [00:17:20] Speaker A: You said, like, twice. You have to take two sips. [00:17:22] Speaker B: Oh, here we go. [00:17:23] Speaker A: We have to watch each other. [00:17:24] Speaker B: Yeah, me and Holly, we're trying to get ourselves together, get our act together. Our Gen Z is showing. [00:17:31] Speaker A: Yeah. This is some shit I was assigned for school. [00:17:34] Speaker B: Look, I'm doing homework. [00:17:35] Speaker A: I still have all my books from school because I'm a hoarder. [00:17:39] Speaker B: Yay. [00:17:40] Speaker A: In celebration of my uterus. Wait, what was this time period? [00:17:43] Speaker B: I want to know that. [00:17:44] Speaker A: 1928 to 1974. Everyone in me is a bird. I am beating all my wings. They wanted to cut you out, but they will not. They said you were immeasurably empty, but you are not. They said you were sick unto dying, but they were wrong. You are singing like a schoolgirl. You are not torn. I'm thinking old age. The ticking of the clock is happening here. She still wants. [00:18:14] Speaker B: And she's like, listen, I still got a fire in me. Poppy. [00:18:18] Speaker A: Yeah. Sweet weight. In celebration of the woman I am and the soul of the woman I am and the central creature and its delight. I sing for you. I dare to live. Hello, spirit. Hello, cup. Fastened cover that does contain. Hello to the soil of the fields. Welcome, roots. It's kind of nice, actually. [00:18:43] Speaker B: It is nice. [00:18:45] Speaker A: Each cell has a life. There is enough here to pleasure a nation. It is enough that the populace own these goods. Any person, any commonwealth. Would they say of it, it is good this year that we may plant again and think forward to a harvest? [00:18:59] Speaker B: She's like, I'm open, girl. I'm sitting here ready to receive. [00:19:03] Speaker A: She's open to a harvest. [00:19:05] Speaker B: She's trying to get her shit sold out. [00:19:07] Speaker A: Plant your seed in her. [00:19:09] Speaker B: Try. [00:19:10] Speaker A: A blight had been forecast and has been cast out. Do you know what a blight means? [00:19:16] Speaker B: I didn't go to school. No. [00:19:18] Speaker A: Many women are singing together. Of this, one is in a shoe factory, cursing the machine. Yeah. Yeah. One is at the aquarium tending a seal. Quit that job. One is dull at the wheel of her ford. One is at the toll gate collecting. One is tying the cord of a calf. In Arizona, one is straddling a cello. In Russia, one is shifting pots on the stove. In Egypt, one is painting her bedroom walls moon color. One is dying but remembering a breakfast. One is stretching on her mat. In Thailand, one is wiping the ass of her child. [00:19:51] Speaker B: It's the Barbie movie. [00:19:53] Speaker A: One is staring out the window of a train in the middle of Wyoming. And one is anywhere and some are everywhere and all seem to be singing, although some cannot sing a note. Sweet. Wait. In celebration of the woman I am, let me carry a ten foot scarf. Let me drum for the 19 year olds. Let me carry bowls for the offering. If that is my part. Let me study the cardiovascular tissue. Let me examine the angular distance of meteors. Let me suck on the stem of flowers. If that is my part. Let me make certain tribal figures. If that is my part for this thing the body needs. Let me sing for the supper, for the kissing, for the correct. [00:20:29] Speaker B: Yes, I like it. It's like wop, but from like the 1920. [00:20:36] Speaker A: I thought it was going to be some feminist weird thing, such as the blood of my uterine. [00:20:42] Speaker B: I drink the blood under the full moon. No, I loved that. [00:20:46] Speaker A: Seems like. [00:20:47] Speaker B: It seems like people have always been like, horny, disgusting whores. [00:20:50] Speaker A: She's ready to have a kid. [00:20:52] Speaker B: Yeah. And listen, nobody. If that was her part, do you. [00:20:57] Speaker A: Know what that means, though? [00:20:59] Speaker B: She said, if that's what she's feeling, if that's her fantasy, then let her have it. [00:21:05] Speaker A: What about the suck on the stem of flowers? [00:21:07] Speaker B: She's saying, let me go a little crazy. Let me do my thing. [00:21:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't like that part as much as I thought I would. [00:21:21] Speaker B: What part? [00:21:22] Speaker A: Skimming through the book. [00:21:23] Speaker B: This one's called. Let me tell you by whom. Where do you see by whom? [00:21:29] Speaker A: Oh, go page earlier. [00:21:31] Speaker B: Let me tell you. By Miller Williams, 1930. How to do it from the beginning. First notice everything. The stain on the wallpaper of the vacant house, the mothball smell of the greyhound toilet. Miss nothing. Mesmerize it. I messed up. I'm starting over. How to do it from the beginning. First notice everything. The stain on the wallpaper of the vacant house, the mothball smell of a greyhound toilet. Miss nothing. Memorize it. You cannot twist the fact you do not know. Remember the blonde girl you saw in the bar? Put a scar on her breast. Why do I always choose the ones about, like, horrific acts of, like. [00:22:24] Speaker A: Mary, you know, you gotta take a sip. [00:22:27] Speaker B: Okay, Mary. [00:22:29] Speaker A: Mom? [00:22:31] Speaker B: Mama. Mama, I'm gonna go to the Big Apple. [00:22:35] Speaker A: Mama, I'm gonna go to the Big Apple. And there's nothing you're going to do about it. [00:22:39] Speaker B: I swear I'm going to be a star. I just swear it. Put a scar on her breast. Say she left. Go. Say she left home to get far from her father. Invent whatever will support your line. Leave out the rest. Use metaphors. The mayor is a pig is a metaphor, which is not. To suggest it is not a fact, which is irrelevant. Nothing is less important than a fact. Be suspicious of any word you learned. And I don't know how to read. Holly. I'm white trash. You got this, Holly, I'm white trash. I can't do this. Be suspicious of. Let me tell you. Be suspicious of any word you learned. You were proud of learning. It will go bad. It will fall off the page. When your father lies in the last light and your mother cries for him. Nothing to the sound of her crying. When your father dies, take notes somewhere inside. If there is heaven, he will forgive you. If the line you found was a good one, it does not have to be worth the dying. I don't know. I don't like it. I don't get it. I'm over it. [00:24:06] Speaker A: Well, there was a breast in there. [00:24:07] Speaker B: Yeah, there was a breast. There was being an abusive husband in there. All things that somebody named Miller Williams in 1930 would write a poem about. [00:24:17] Speaker A: What does he mean by her? Dad will forgive her. [00:24:21] Speaker B: No, he'll forgive you. [00:24:22] Speaker A: She should be the one forgiven. It sounds to me. [00:24:25] Speaker B: Yeah, she needs an apology. He scarred her breast. Her heaving bosom is marked by him. Okay, your turn. Where's the uplifting poems? These are all about horrible things. Yeah, like I was expecting. Milk and honey. [00:24:40] Speaker A: Nanny by Alberto Rios, 1952. Nanny sitting at her table, she serves the sopa de aros to me instinctively. And I watch her, the absolute mama, and eat words I might have had to say more out of embarrassment to speak now. Foreign words. I used to speak two. That too is with two o's dribble down her mouth as she serves me. [00:25:10] Speaker B: Albon. [00:25:11] Speaker A: Albondigas, no more than a third are easy to me. By the stove. She does something with words and looks at me only with her back. I am full, I tell her. I taste the mint and watch her speak. Smiles at the stove. All my words make her smile. Nanny never serves herself. She only watches me with her skin, her hair. I ask for more. I watch the mama warming more tortillas for me. I watch her fingers in the flame for me. Near her mouth I see a wrinkle. Speak of a man whose body serves the ants like she serves me. Then more words from more wrinkles about children. [00:25:47] Speaker B: Ooh. [00:25:49] Speaker A: What? [00:25:50] Speaker B: I love this one. [00:25:52] Speaker A: The more words from more wrinkles about children. Words about this and that flowing more easily from these other mouths. Each serves a tremendous string around her. Holding her together. [00:26:04] Speaker B: They speak. [00:26:04] Speaker A: And nanny was this and that to me. And I wonder just how much of me will die with her. What were the words I could have been? Was? What were the words I could have been? Comma was. Her insides speak through a hundred wrinkles now. More than she can bear steel around her. Shouting. Then what is the thing she serves? She asks me if I want more. I own no words to stop her. Even before I speak, she serves. What do you think? [00:26:33] Speaker B: So it's Kanto. It's Abu Lita. Hun. Shit. The stove. With age comes wisdom and stories that aren't even necessarily. You need to speak them. Through her wrinkles you could see the stories of her children, her late lover feeding the worms. The way that she feeds her grandchildren and her family. She looks at them through shoulders and hair because she sees them through food, through giving. Giving. Abuelita is at the stove giving. And we love her. I love that one. [00:27:15] Speaker A: Yeah, me too. Her insights speak through a hundred wrinkles now, more than she can bear. The more wrinkles, the more wisdom, the more knowledge. [00:27:22] Speaker B: However, stories. I love that. It's like, be nice to your grandma. [00:27:27] Speaker A: What about this ending? She asks me if I want more. I own no words to stop her. Even before I speak, she serves. What do you think? [00:27:34] Speaker B: That's my mom being like Jeet yet. And like breaking bread immediately before. She's not interested in an answer. She's feeding you regardless. Also, big shout out to Jeet yet. To who? Jeet yet. I love when moms aunts, like any female figure, combines three words into one. I just love that. Jeet yet? Done. Gayo, get over here. [00:28:00] Speaker A: We read more. [00:28:01] Speaker B: I feel like I don't know how to read. Yeah, I don't know how to read, but love poetry. I used to want to be a poet until I learned that in order to be a poet, I quickly realized that I needed to be able to read and write. So that held me back. [00:28:19] Speaker A: Literacy. [00:28:19] Speaker B: Yes, literacy helps a lot when it comes to being a famous. You know. I took to podcasting, I took to the mic, and as you guys see through our instagram captions, me and Holly have the reading and writing level of toddlers. [00:28:33] Speaker A: Should we try to do improv poems? [00:28:36] Speaker B: But. [00:28:44] Speaker A: The water was crisp and cold. [00:28:49] Speaker B: Was this the beginning of the end? [00:28:53] Speaker A: His hands clapped around my neck. [00:29:01] Speaker B: Oh, hold on. Perhaps it wasn't me he wishes to bore his children. [00:29:10] Speaker A: Perhaps it wasn't me he wished to release. That anger. Wrath. [00:29:19] Speaker B: Wrath like the silhouette of black cats that stretch along an alley in which he beat me. [00:29:29] Speaker A: Twas it I who he released that sound to. [00:29:33] Speaker B: Twas it I? [00:29:35] Speaker A: Or was it the demon he saw in the reflection of my eye? [00:29:39] Speaker B: And in the reflection of my eye grew closer to the reflection of the surface of the frigid water. As he threw my limp body over the edge, I could see that face. [00:29:50] Speaker A: Blurry and growing farther. [00:29:52] Speaker B: He's never quite taken me over the edge before, if you know what I mean. But not till now has he made me scream, gasping for breath. [00:30:06] Speaker A: Oh, dear, beautiful breath. How I wanted to eat it and drink it. [00:30:14] Speaker B: I grew to climax as I splayed through the air and then splat. [00:30:23] Speaker A: But it wasn't the climax that I've always wanted. That was fierce. [00:30:42] Speaker B: Listen, we're no Sylvia Plath, okay? [00:30:45] Speaker A: Have we ever read any Sylvia Plath? [00:30:48] Speaker B: The first one was Sylvia Plath. [00:30:50] Speaker A: I don't think it was. No, it wasn't. [00:30:52] Speaker B: Like a goddamn near sociopath. [00:30:55] Speaker A: Let's read one more poem by Sylvia Plath. [00:30:59] Speaker B: The poet of our lifetime is Miss Lana Del Rey. Miss Lana Del Rey, Miss Elizabeth Woolridge grant of Lake Placid, New York. [00:31:07] Speaker A: What was that one? I was a something dun dun a girl. [00:31:10] Speaker B: Oh. Oh. I always had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet, of becoming a singer. But upon an unfortunate series of events sought those dreams, dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky, sparkling, that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken. I was always an unusual girl. [00:31:31] Speaker A: Yes. [00:31:31] Speaker B: My mother said I had a chameleon soul. No, fixed personality, no compass pointed due north. [00:31:39] Speaker A: Okay, I'm going to read the list to you, and you tell me what you want. [00:31:43] Speaker B: Titles? [00:31:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:44] Speaker B: Okay. We're going for vibes. They always say, don't judge a book by its cover. One thing about me, I'm judging a book by its cover. [00:31:49] Speaker A: There's not enough time in the day. [00:31:51] Speaker B: I'm picking that cereal box because of the cartoon. I'm picking the song because of the title. [00:31:56] Speaker A: If you didn't hook me with that first thing, why should I trust you? [00:32:01] Speaker B: It's not happening. [00:32:02] Speaker A: Okay. Lady Lazarus, daddy love. Okay, we'll put a pin in that one. [00:32:09] Speaker B: Okay. [00:32:09] Speaker A: Tulips, the applicant. Ariel. Mad girls love song, the Munich mannequins, two lovers and a beach comber by the re. The word doesn't finish. It goes, dot, dot, dot, anui, ennui and dear island. These are the first things shown to me by Google. Daddy. [00:32:31] Speaker B: Let's listen to daddy by Sylvia Plath. [00:32:33] Speaker A: Where the fuck is it? Oh, here we go. You do not do. You do not do anymore. Black shoe in which I have liked. Oh, wait, can I start that over? [00:32:44] Speaker B: Let me start that over. You know, this is our podcast. We play by our rules. [00:32:48] Speaker A: Daddy. [00:32:49] Speaker B: Daddy, I want the squirrel now. [00:32:53] Speaker A: You do not do. You do not do anymore. Black shoe, in which I have lived like a foot for 30 years, poor and white. [00:33:02] Speaker B: Me? [00:33:03] Speaker A: Yeah, me. [00:33:05] Speaker B: All right. [00:33:06] Speaker A: Like, the vibes are. The vibes are there. I said, like, hold on. I'm being real with this. [00:33:11] Speaker B: Just so you know. We've talked about it. Me and Holly have realized that we have a dirty little issue, and our issue is that we love the word. [00:33:20] Speaker A: So we're the victim of the word. [00:33:22] Speaker B: Like, we're a victim. We're in a chokehold, so we're drinking every time we say it. So if we're blackout drunk by the end of this podcast episode, you know why? [00:33:31] Speaker A: Just because you already have an open bottle. Do you have any left? [00:33:34] Speaker B: Yes. She don't already get it. Far away from the girl. She don't already die, girl, oh, girl. She don't already die. [00:33:50] Speaker A: That has an interesting taste. [00:33:52] Speaker B: It's flat. It's expired. It's moldy. [00:33:54] Speaker A: Oh, is that the deal? [00:33:55] Speaker B: I think so, because I kind of liked it. I like it, too. [00:33:58] Speaker A: Okay. For 30 years, poor and white, barely daring to breathe, or a cool daddy. I have to kill you. You died before I had time. Marble, heavy, a bag full of God. Ghastly statue with 1 gy toe big as a Frisco seal. Let's just go over this real quick because I'm confused. [00:34:18] Speaker B: So she's looking at the gravestone of her dead father is what I'm thinking. And she's carried around a depression for 30 years and she's ready to say goodbye to the idea of her father. [00:34:33] Speaker A: She's carrying it. That's what you got from the gray toe? [00:34:36] Speaker B: The gray toe is what I'm assuming. [00:34:38] Speaker A: The gray weight, she said. [00:34:40] Speaker B: Like the marble. I'm looking at marble. [00:34:42] Speaker A: Oh, marble heavy. Heavy is the feelings of loss, I guess. A bag full of God. [00:34:49] Speaker B: The gravestone. Oh, take it from the top, daddy. [00:34:54] Speaker A: I have to kill you. You died before I had time. Marble, heavy. A bag full of God. Ghastly statue with 1 gy toe big as a Frisco seal. Okay, so I got that wrong. [00:35:05] Speaker B: It's interpretive. [00:35:07] Speaker A: And ahead in a freakish Atlantic where it pours bean green over blue in the waters off the beautiful nosset I used to pray to recover. You. Ah do. And ahead in the freakish Atlantic where it pours bean green over blue. What does that mean, you think? [00:35:26] Speaker B: Bean green, tomato, potato, throw up vomit. Throw up, throw up vomit. I was just thinking, like, maybe he was lost at sea. Or like in a boating accident out at sea when it was raining. [00:35:44] Speaker A: But she says, ahead in the freakish Atlantic. So I envision, like, ahead bobbing up and down. [00:35:50] Speaker B: Is it was raining in the water. [00:35:52] Speaker A: No, more like. I don't know what alternative. She's standing over a fence, on a dock or something. Her little head is above the blue and green vomit is pouring into it. [00:36:09] Speaker B: No, see, this is what's great about poems is because we're both reading the same thing but on completely different pages. [00:36:15] Speaker A: In the german tongue. In the polish town. Scraped flat by the roller of wars, wars, wars. But the name of the town is common, my polak friend. Okay, so maybe marines. That's on the water, no? [00:36:30] Speaker B: Yes, it is. [00:36:32] Speaker A: Says there are a dozen or two. So I could never tell where you put your foot, your root. I could talk to you. The tongue stuck in my jaw. It stuck in the barbed wire. Snare, itch, itch, itch. I could hardly speak. I thought every German was you. And the language obscene there says there are a dozen or two. So she could never. What I'm thinking now is he went off to war. [00:36:57] Speaker B: He was on a ship or something. It crashed. There was like, twelve unidentified bodies. Maybe her father was one of them. [00:37:06] Speaker A: I thought he walked amongst the earth in many places that she'll never know. [00:37:11] Speaker B: Sort of thing that's fierce. [00:37:13] Speaker A: She says, put your foot. Your root. And then I just figure I could never talk to you. My polak friend says there are a dozen. I don't know. I have zero idea what's going on, actually. An engine. An engine. Chuffing me like a jew. [00:37:29] Speaker B: Okay, a Jew. [00:37:31] Speaker A: Datu, Auschwitz, Belson. I began to talk like a jew. I think I may well be a jew. [00:37:38] Speaker B: She was like, let me get locks on everything. [00:37:45] Speaker A: The snows of the Tyrell, the clear beer of Vienna are not very pure or true. With my gypsy ancestrius and my weird luck and my Tarik pack and my Tariq pack, I may be a bit of a jew. I have always been scared of you. With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledy do. Gobbledy goo. [00:38:06] Speaker B: Look, Holly, you're a minority. What do you mean? She's coming for your people. [00:38:13] Speaker A: And your neat mustache. Wait, what? And your aryan eye. [00:38:18] Speaker B: She's shit talking jewish people right now. She's coming for the Jews. Miss Sylvia is attacking you and your people. [00:38:24] Speaker A: Wait, what? [00:38:26] Speaker B: That whole little blurb you just read was her shit talking jewish people. Go back. [00:38:29] Speaker A: I have always been scared of you. [00:38:31] Speaker B: Yes. Take it from the top. Take it from there. [00:38:33] Speaker A: Oh, because her dad's a jew and he's dead. [00:38:35] Speaker B: Maybe he was killed by the Jews in the war. So she hates the Jews. Right now. She's just shit talking jewish people. [00:38:40] Speaker A: Oh, shit. [00:38:42] Speaker B: No. [00:38:43] Speaker A: But she says, I may be a bit of a jew. So maybe her dad was a jew. [00:38:48] Speaker B: She's like, I hate the Jews. But lately I'm realizing, maybe they're not so bad. Maybe I have some similarities. Because I, too, am an evil bitch with a what? [00:39:01] Speaker A: Okay. All the way to up the snows of the Tyrell. I don't know what that means. The clear beer of Vienna are not very pure or true. With my gypsy ancestors and my weird luck and my tarot. Oh, tarot cards. [00:39:15] Speaker B: She's like, I'm a little bit of a witch, so maybe I'm jewish. [00:39:19] Speaker A: Oh, wait, Tara. T-A-R-O-C. Could that mean in the same family? [00:39:25] Speaker B: Maybe. Again. Diaries of the uneducated. Diaries of the mental ill. So, we don't want you to. What? Come for us. Thank you very much. [00:39:32] Speaker A: I may be a bit of a jew. I have always been scared of you. With your Luftwaffe. Your gobbledy goo. I've heard that before. Gobbledy goo. [00:39:42] Speaker B: I'm assuming it's like the jewish version of the italian gobblegool. Just sounds of the language. [00:39:50] Speaker A: Do you have your phone with you? Can you search up Luftwaff. [00:39:54] Speaker B: I'm assuming that means, like, thick hair, but let's see. [00:39:58] Speaker A: Yeah, it sounds like a tuft of hair. [00:39:59] Speaker B: The Luftwaffe was the aerial warfare branch of the wormach before and during World War II. Tutoru air weapon. It's like a plane that the Germans used in the world's war. [00:40:15] Speaker A: And your neat mustache. [00:40:17] Speaker B: Oh, Hitler. She's talking about Hitler. Oh, wait, go back. Now she's talking about Hitler. Maybe I'm wrong. [00:40:23] Speaker A: Maybe her fear of Hitler makes her think she's a jew. [00:40:27] Speaker B: Maybe. Okay, never mind. Miss Sylvia, you're invited to the Passover seder. [00:40:35] Speaker A: I've always been scared of you. With your luftwaffe, your gobbledy goo and your neat mustache and your aryan eye. Bright blue. Panzer man. Panzer man. Oh, you. Not God, but a swastika. [00:40:47] Speaker B: Okay, yeah, no, she's shit talking Hitler, not jewish people. Just kidding. [00:40:50] Speaker A: So black, no sky could speak through. Ooh, that's a powerful line. Every woman adores a fascist. The boot in the face. The brute, brute heart of a brute like you. [00:41:02] Speaker B: Wow, I was totally off. [00:41:04] Speaker A: You stand at the blackboard, daddy. In the picture, I have of you a cleft in your chin instead of your foot. But no less a devil for that. No, not any less. The black man who bit my pretty red heart. Hmm. What is a cleft in your chin instead of your foot? [00:41:22] Speaker B: Butt chin. [00:41:23] Speaker A: But what's instead of your foot? [00:41:25] Speaker B: A cleft foot. Okay. I don't know. I thought she was hating jewish people. [00:41:33] Speaker A: Turns out she seems to hate her dad also. But note less of a devil for that. I was ten when they buried you at 20 I tried to die and get back back to you okay. [00:41:45] Speaker B: No, get back. Back again. Come on. All stars, too. [00:41:48] Speaker A: I thought even the bones would do but they pulled me out of the sack and they stuck me together with glue and then I knew what to do I made a model of you. A man in black with a main comp flu. Wait, was he a Nazi? [00:42:02] Speaker B: Mine comp. [00:42:03] Speaker A: Oh. Oops. I'm going to say that again and cut it out. A man in black with a mine comp look and a love of the rack and the screw and I said, I do, I do. So, Daddy, I'm finally through the black telephone's off the route the voices just can't warm through if I've killed one man, I've killed two. The vampire who said he was you and drank my blood for a year, seven years. If you want to know, daddy, you can lie back now. There's a stake in your fat black heart. And the villagers never liked you. They are dancing and stamping on you, stomping. It's spelt with an a. I'm just saying they always knew it was you. Daddy. Daddy. You bastard. I'm through. [00:42:45] Speaker B: So that was heavy. That was a lot of stuff. I was totally on a different page for the first half of that. But now I get it. [00:42:53] Speaker A: You're like, oh, fuck, she's an anti semite. I'm curious now if her dad. What the deal is with her dad, because what do you think? Prediction? [00:43:01] Speaker B: I think that her dad wasn't the best man. Died when she was ten. Then she had years of depression following that. Put a lot of the blame on him. Took lovers that might have not been the best for her, seeking that male figure in her life. But now she's washing her hands clean of the whole situation. She's taking one big step forward. [00:43:29] Speaker A: I kind of got that thought early on, but what was the whole dancing on his grave situation like the villagers? Now I'm thinking maybe she realized he was a Nazi and she didn't know it. And so she's like, fuck you. Maybe I missed you all this time. [00:43:45] Speaker B: Because it's like, you were a terrible man, but you're still my daddy, I still miss you and I still wish you were in my life. And she was only ten, so it's not like she has a lot of memories. So she's just hearing stories from the townsfolk saying he was a terrible person. [00:43:57] Speaker A: Plath's father was not a Nazi, but she thinks of him as one. Plath claims that the Germans are not as pure as they think. Plath is a gypsy who germans also sent to the death. [00:44:09] Speaker B: It was just. It was her being like, fuck my conservative parents. [00:44:13] Speaker A: Oh. She sees herself as a jew. No, wait, these. So she is the jew, he is the Hitler in her life. Why? [00:44:25] Speaker B: Because she's imprisoned by the grief? Are we in Harvard? Are we scholarly? [00:44:35] Speaker A: He died from diabetes, though. So is she upset with him or what? [00:44:41] Speaker B: She's upset that she misses him. She's upset that he's not there for her life. She's upset that she never had a relationship with him. [00:44:49] Speaker A: Oh. In fact, he was described by Plath as a diabolical being, causing her constant fear. Ooh. Daddy is a depiction of feminine and masculine energy, where the Persona mythology is the figure of her father. In the fifth stanza, when the Persona states, put your foot, your root. The foot is a symbol for threatening, suffocating object, symbolizing that her father is sexually brutal work. [00:45:17] Speaker B: So we're not exactly doing Dr. Seuss on the podcast today. [00:45:23] Speaker A: I like a good read through, though. I like a good analysis. [00:45:26] Speaker B: You love an analysis. The first thing holly does when a movie ends is open google, because people have good. [00:45:32] Speaker A: I'm not good at it. [00:45:33] Speaker B: They have the juicy gossip, but, yeah. [00:45:35] Speaker A: They put it into words where I'm like, what do we do now? Do we close up? [00:45:43] Speaker B: So before we close out, I just want to say some of you guys have responded to our what perturbs you questions that we've scattered throughout social media. [00:45:51] Speaker A: Ooh, I'm excited. [00:45:52] Speaker B: So now is the opportunity for you shining individuals to get your moment in the spotlight, your special little moment on this diary we like to call apartment one r. How do I get to it? Oh, my God. So we ask the world what perturbs you, and Amanda Goldsmith responds, poop cramps perturb me. [00:46:18] Speaker A: Do you are. We're on the same page with that. When the butthole cramps up out of nowhere. [00:46:24] Speaker B: So I heard poop cramps is like, some type of. I was assuming it was some, like, period poop type situation that I didn't know about, that there was some poop cramp tea in the period department. Oh, is there? [00:46:37] Speaker A: There is. Yes, indeed. When the uterus first starts shedding, I think it bloats. [00:46:46] Speaker B: When it's swollen walls abandon the body. [00:46:51] Speaker A: Here's what I experience. There's bloating going on, and I think it's crushing. [00:46:57] Speaker B: What's the anal sphincter? The canal? [00:47:02] Speaker A: Yes, some canal. [00:47:03] Speaker B: It's the eerie canal. Okay, girl, there's a lot of pain. [00:47:07] Speaker A: And then you also have to poop at the same time. But I thought she was talking about. [00:47:11] Speaker B: Random sharp, like the rectal. Oh, I said, like, this podcast is brought to you in part by rectal discomfort. Hey, wait. Do you get that rectal discomfort do. [00:47:24] Speaker A: You get when your butthole just starts cramping out of nowhere? [00:47:28] Speaker B: What do you mean, cramping? Like a sharp pain or like a sharp pain. [00:47:32] Speaker A: But it's around the sphincter? Yes. [00:47:37] Speaker B: It's not internal. [00:47:40] Speaker A: It is. It's just not as if one part of the wall got hit with. It's around the sphere, the cylinder of the anal canal right at the tip. [00:47:56] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah. [00:47:57] Speaker A: Do you get that? [00:47:58] Speaker B: Sure. [00:47:59] Speaker A: Or is that a woman thing? [00:48:00] Speaker B: No, I mean, I've gotten, like, random moments where I go, oh, what's going on down? [00:48:07] Speaker A: You know, I've always assumed that it's just. [00:48:10] Speaker B: Fuck. Sorry. Holly's taking a sip because she said, like, again, I don't know if we're going to put all these little bits. [00:48:16] Speaker A: In, but I've always assumed that it's the anus getting prepared for the arrival of poop. There's a battle going, bursting of poop. [00:48:25] Speaker B: We need to start loosening the boundaries, but at the same time, we need to put a barrier of protection up from the forces of the fecal matter. There's a duality. There's a duality there. [00:48:42] Speaker A: It's the anus about to give birth to poop. [00:48:47] Speaker B: Right. It's laissez faire dictatorship. It's totalitarianism. [00:48:55] Speaker A: Yes. That is what our perception is as of now. But what did she say exactly? I'm going to search it up. [00:49:02] Speaker B: She said, poop cramps perturb me. Poop. I'm just going to also, I feel very seen by Miss Amanda Goldsmith because there are just as many typos in here as we usually post on our social media. So I feel very seen. [00:49:20] Speaker A: Hold on, before you continue, I want to see what is. What the fuck? Oh, colon spasms. [00:49:28] Speaker B: Colon spasms brought to you in part by. [00:49:32] Speaker A: It's giving treatments. But I want. What is it? Stretching and massaging the muscle may help it relax, like fingering your butthole. [00:49:41] Speaker B: All right, you know what? To each his own. This isn't the kink episode, but we still don't kink. Shame. [00:49:46] Speaker A: Applying heat or cold to the area. So you want to dip your dildo into an ice cold bucket and then insert. Or if you squatty potty over the. [00:49:59] Speaker B: Oven. [00:50:01] Speaker A: That is a recipe for disaster. Like, you could burn your ass. [00:50:05] Speaker B: Yeah. What if you slip and fall? [00:50:07] Speaker A: Oh, God. Oh, God. Literally, imagine it. [00:50:10] Speaker B: Like, what? In the home alone, two is going on. [00:50:13] Speaker A: Because the pot's gonna. Not only you're gonna be splashed all over and in, the pot's going to go falling. Your ass is going to hit the stove. [00:50:23] Speaker B: But not just the stove. It's going to hit the metal grates that lift the pots up, and it's going to skid and slide around on that hot metal plate. It's cow branding. [00:50:34] Speaker A: What are poop cramps? [00:50:36] Speaker B: Should we phone a friend? Should we call Amanda? Yeah, should we. Should I call her and say, what do you mean by poop cramp? [00:50:42] Speaker A: Do you have her number in London? [00:50:44] Speaker B: Oh, she has a new number. [00:50:46] Speaker A: All right, so here's what it's telling me, and then we'll give her a call. Pain from the inside, the abdomen or the outer muscle wall, ranging from mild and temporary to severe and requiring emergency care. [00:50:56] Speaker B: I love body parts. Being referred to as a wall. It makes me feel like a little village. Like, you know, I'm a little village up on a hill with walls and canals and tunnels. And let me tell you something, that city's been abandoned for a long, long time. It's the city of ember up in here. We're phoning a friend. [00:51:19] Speaker A: She's in London. So I don't know how this is going to go. I don't know what. Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. The person you're trying to reach is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up. Hey, Amanda. We're live on the podcast. [00:51:34] Speaker B: Hi. [00:51:36] Speaker A: We were just wondering what was the phrase she used? Anal. [00:51:41] Speaker B: So we asked the world what perturbs us. And Amanda responded with poop cramps a. [00:51:48] Speaker A: Little, because Michael thought originally that maybe it was like period cramps, like the poop feeling. I think it's the butthole that you're talking about cramping up. But we're unsure. So answer the call. We're going to call again in five. [00:52:02] Speaker B: Minutes, and if not, we're going to post your voicemail response on Instagram. [00:52:08] Speaker A: Give us a voicemail back on what you meant on that engagement. [00:52:12] Speaker B: We're getting the girls on the podcast. Very special guest. Thank you. Betterhelp. And there's more. Amanda said, by the way. [00:52:19] Speaker A: Oh, it's 03:37 a.m. [00:52:21] Speaker B: In London. For some reason, I was thinking, like, it would be earlier there. Holly. [00:52:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:27] Speaker B: Anyway, moving on. Amanda says, also birth control. Also commuting to work, period. Also the cold. Amanda. I agree. I agree. I'm going to put on the permanent record that I do not take birth control. But I'm over it. Commuting to work over it, beyond over it. It perturbs me more than anything else in the world at this point. [00:52:48] Speaker A: The biggest waste of the day. [00:52:49] Speaker B: Also the cold. Hell, yeah. Birth control. You're not on birth control. [00:52:54] Speaker A: No. [00:52:54] Speaker B: So we don't really have a lot of experience there. [00:52:57] Speaker A: Here's the thing that was told to me that definitely stuck. Birth control lies to you, telling you that you're pregnant. So girls are like a little crazy. I feel like because of that, actually, I'm going to restate that. [00:53:12] Speaker B: Hormonally imbalanced. [00:53:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:53:15] Speaker B: You know what I always say, a little weird. [00:53:17] Speaker A: It doesn't sit right. It doesn't lay in the right position. [00:53:21] Speaker B: You know what? There are different types of birth control for everybody. Different things work for different people. I always say being ugly is the best birth control. You don't have to worry about hormones being involved. You don't have to worry about children. But there's different strokes for different folks. [00:53:37] Speaker A: Amanda responded. Butthole cramps. It's 03:00 a.m. So I'm too sleepy to call. But yes, it's like the electric spasm. [00:53:45] Speaker B: Okay, so yes, she is talking about the topical spurt commuting to work. [00:53:53] Speaker A: I'm always disheveled. There's never a theme song running in the background with the birds chirping in the clouds, fluffy in the blue sky. [00:54:02] Speaker B: I need birds to be making pancakes. [00:54:05] Speaker A: For me, the reality is like a weird, scary symphony by an old orchestra. [00:54:14] Speaker B: It's the fortrain. It's not cute. It's not the fairy tale experience that we all thought it would be. And it's me wanting to push someone. [00:54:21] Speaker A: Down the stairs as I'm walking through Lexington. [00:54:24] Speaker B: It's me hearing that a human life has ended because somebody was struck by the train. And my first thought is, oh, come on, we're all going to be late. [00:54:32] Speaker A: People got to get to work here. [00:54:34] Speaker B: Come on, you idiot. [00:54:35] Speaker A: What was it? There's a cold. Oh, don't even get me fucking started. Because we're there. [00:54:43] Speaker B: You guys are listening to this in February, but it's the end of November for us. We're going to let you peek behind the fourth wall. We're going to let you peek behind the curtain of Oz. Here, we're just entering the cold. Cold. And I'm already over it. It's already disgusting. [00:54:58] Speaker A: Since the topic is poems, I'm going to get a little poetic with this one. [00:55:04] Speaker B: Do it. [00:55:04] Speaker A: I wake up, my nipples are so. [00:55:07] Speaker B: Hard as Harvey Weinstein in the presence of a minor. [00:55:12] Speaker A: Oh. [00:55:15] Speaker B: I just typed in because I remember I wrote this long time ago. I haven't read it since 2018. Shivering into bed, it's here I find myself wandering through the endless cosmos, existing behind my shut eyes. It's here I find myself standing over a fallen army of orange and red, vibrant like blood. I am a fallen angel, myself, chained prisoner to the limits of earth, man, and death. It's here I am, bound forever in the powerless routine of man. [00:55:45] Speaker A: That's nice. [00:55:46] Speaker B: I used to think I was Sylvia Plath. [00:55:48] Speaker A: No, that's good. Michael's a poet. He doesn't give himself enough credit, and he's always calling himself a narcissist. But meanwhile, he's like, I'm illiterate. [00:55:56] Speaker B: It's self deprecating humor. It's charming on the poor trust me. No, but seriously, I am illiterate. Like, when I read people, when I have to read out loud, it's like I'm a 14 year old nervous in school, shaking. I was that person in class to where the teacher would like, avoid. [00:56:11] Speaker A: Try reading a book at the Pat silver Seder while you're stoned out of your mind. And there's a Holocaust survivor at the. [00:56:18] Speaker B: End of the table. Can you tell that story while I grab a bottle of wine? Yeah, tell that story because I love it. [00:56:24] Speaker A: Was I with you when I was getting high? [00:56:26] Speaker B: I might have been. [00:56:27] Speaker A: So I was getting high with a group of friends, including Michael, and I get a call, where are you? We're going to pass over. And I'm there high. Like, oh, fuck, I went to Passover. During Passover Seder, you read passages. Everyone takes a turn reading a passage. And then it was my turn, and I was really high, and I just couldn't do it. I looked over at my brothers who were wearing a yamaka, and it was hilarious. And not only was it nerve wracking to read, just envision being a little kid, a third grader. It's your turn to read. [00:57:00] Speaker B: You were not a third grader. [00:57:02] Speaker A: No, but I was high. [00:57:03] Speaker B: So mentally, you were in third grade. Yeah. [00:57:05] Speaker A: And you're just like, who was at. [00:57:09] Speaker B: The end of the table? [00:57:10] Speaker A: A holocaust survivor? My aunt's mom. [00:57:12] Speaker B: And she watching her high kin. [00:57:15] Speaker A: I was laughing hysterically, alone with a silent table of people. And then I heard my, I think it was my uncle Jerry going, uh oh, we have a laugher. And then my brother started laughing. People were generally light about the situation, but then I looked over at her, the Holocaust survivor, and she looked serious about it, but she was also very old. [00:57:37] Speaker B: I am that person where in the moment that you're not allowed to laugh. I'm like hysterical beyond control just because I can't laugh. So I can't even imagine. I would have been dead. I would have been rolling on the floor, hysterical laughing, because it's so ritualistic. Anytime. I mean, you guys, if you're listening to the podcast, you've made it to season three. You know, me and Holly, we're little sadistic little bitches over here. If you tell me to be serious, you're not allowed to laugh. You're not allowed to do anything. I've created my entire personality to not be know. I don't know how to function in a world where things are taken seriously. [00:58:14] Speaker A: But then you get those moments and they're euphoric when you're reading a passage in front of people and it's just. [00:58:22] Speaker B: Smooth sailing, there's like a fog machine. [00:58:26] Speaker A: I feel on top of the motherfucking world. And then there's a moment where you hype it up in your head. My turn's coming. [00:58:33] Speaker B: And it's Mulan when the ancestors are, like, gathering. [00:58:38] Speaker A: So how do we get to that place? Oh, illiterate. Illiteracy. [00:58:43] Speaker B: Oh, I read my public buttholes. Yeah, buttholes and white trash. Basically apartment one r. So I think that's it as far as comments go. So I'm going to once again implore all of our listeners to let us know down in the comments on our Instagram page, or dm us if you want to remain anomalous. Or dm us if you want to remain. [00:59:09] Speaker A: Anonymous. [00:59:11] Speaker B: Anonymous. Anonymous. If you wish to remain anonymous, just dm us and let us know what perturbs you. We at this podcast want to send ourselves into the world with a positive outlook. So we come here to let it all hang out. So we implore you to do the same. What perturbs you? What pisses you off? What makes you look at someone and think, are you joking? Let us know and you'll end up on future episodes. Because we always need new things. We're hateful bitches. [00:59:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:59:43] Speaker B: And we're ready to continue that path of hatred. [00:59:46] Speaker A: And we're terrified. We really are scared of losing topic ideas. This is why we're reading poems right now. [00:59:55] Speaker B: Sylvia Plath is going to get us together. Mama, is there any last things? [01:00:01] Speaker A: I guess. No. [01:00:02] Speaker B: I just think it's fun that you guys are in the future. How is February? I know you guys are in 2024. We're sat here in 2023. And you know what? We've decided to let you guys peek behind the curtain of Oz because we're family here. And yes, it's Hollywood. It's Hollywood, darling. It's Hollywood. But we're going to allow you guys in on a little secret. It's still 2023 for us. You guys are talking to the past. We're time traveling. We don't even know if the world will still be here by the time this literal podcast airs. [01:00:33] Speaker A: Okay, I should be on the mental page with you to closing up, right? [01:00:39] Speaker B: That's what I'm doing. [01:00:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm too drunk right now to think properly. No, I literally can't literally. [01:00:52] Speaker B: Big shout out to anybody with this accent. I love this accent. Ask me what I'm doing today. Go. [01:00:58] Speaker A: What are you doing today? [01:00:59] Speaker B: I don't know. Probably shopping, scrolling on Instagram. Then I'm going to go shopping. [01:01:04] Speaker A: What is that accent? It's adorable, but what is it? [01:01:06] Speaker B: I'm not sure what it is, but I really like it a lot when I hear it. [01:01:10] Speaker A: Is it? Oh, I was just acting. [01:01:12] Speaker B: Yeah, I was just acting. [01:01:13] Speaker A: I was just joking. [01:01:15] Speaker B: You know me. I was just joking. If you're on your commute to work, just know that we love you. Let's send our viewers out with a little poem. It's you I need in apartment one r when my knees are weak and I seek to be a star it's. [01:01:36] Speaker A: You I need when my soul is shriveling when my home has turned to dust it's you I need in apartment. [01:01:44] Speaker B: One r we are your mama come to me, my kin feed from my heaving bosom as I lure you in. [01:01:55] Speaker A: Hurry, young children, your food is here, and it will get stale. [01:02:01] Speaker B: Eat from the slop while it remains hot, because if you do not, then I ought to send you to the yard where you'll get the hose. [01:02:13] Speaker A: But you said sunshine at some point, and for a split second there, I was like, what rhymes with sunshine? Pine. [01:02:21] Speaker B: Anyway, good night. [01:02:24] Speaker A: Good night. Fuck off. [01:02:26] Speaker B: We're going to fuck off. And we love you guys. You know the deal by now. Let us know what you guys think in the comments down below, because we need engagement. We're gonna die without you. We're your problem now. [01:02:41] Speaker A: It's up to you. Listen, you made this commitment. [01:02:44] Speaker B: So anyway, toodleoo. Holly, any last, like, I have that. [01:02:49] Speaker A: Emotional drunk right now, and I just want to tell you how much I love you. [01:02:53] Speaker B: So just to wrap up the episode, we started this episode off with a little game between me and Holly. We are trying to zillennial ourselves. We are trying to lean into the cusp. [01:03:05] Speaker A: Because I'm not going to say. I was going to say they're annoying, right? [01:03:10] Speaker B: Because I love Gen Z. But we do say, like, a know. [01:03:13] Speaker A: We say it far too much. [01:03:14] Speaker B: Far too much. So we played a little drinking game in this episode where we took a swig of our wine every time one of us said, like, holly's blackout drunk. [01:03:29] Speaker A: I'm bad at it. [01:03:30] Speaker B: You're so good at it. No, it's not Baja. [01:03:33] Speaker A: It's. No, you know what? I keep adding the aw. [01:03:39] Speaker B: Yeah, you're going Count Dracula. You need to go, like, mayor of Whoville. [01:03:43] Speaker A: Okay, ba. No, I can't. I can't not do it for some reason. [01:03:58] Speaker B: You're doing great. You're doing great, Ba. [01:04:01] Speaker A: Hall. [01:04:02] Speaker B: Ba humbug. [01:04:03] Speaker A: Ba ba humbug. [01:04:04] Speaker B: Because that's too fun and it's my favorite holiday. We're still in the holiday mood. You guys are over it. [01:04:10] Speaker A: Anyways, go ahead. [01:04:12] Speaker B: I was going to say goodnight. So if you have something to say before then, so say it. [01:04:16] Speaker A: I don't know. I'm just blabbering now. [01:04:18] Speaker B: I love blabbering. Holly, what's on your mind? What perturbs you? What perturbs you? What pisses you off? [01:04:25] Speaker A: I don't know, but I'm having fun being drunk right now. I feel like I haven't had fun. [01:04:29] Speaker B: I'm telling you, it's a sip. I said, like, again, I was about to say I have a theory. It's not a theory. It's, like, proven. Different types of alcohol give you different types of drugs. [01:04:40] Speaker A: Right? Because yesterday I drank vodka, and she. [01:04:42] Speaker B: Was wondering why she felt like shit. I said, what'd you drink? She said, a mule. I said, because you drank vodka. That's why you feel like shit. [01:04:48] Speaker A: Wow. [01:04:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Today we stuck with white wine. I feel like white wine. And you're not a white wine girl, you're a red wine girl. But I'm enjoying, and I've been telling you that red wine either makes me, a, go to sleep immediately or b, cry hysterically in a yard. [01:05:00] Speaker A: You're right. Most of the time, you're right. [01:05:03] Speaker B: And white wine for me wakes me up the same way tequila does. So maybe we're learning a little thing or two about alcohol. [01:05:09] Speaker A: There's some changes happening, and, you know, I'm comfortable with change. [01:05:13] Speaker B: What's happening is we're becoming professional alcoholics. [01:05:17] Speaker A: Indeed. Here's a thought. Change. People are so uncomfortable with change. [01:05:23] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [01:05:23] Speaker A: People hate it, and we're toxically obsessed with change. [01:05:27] Speaker B: No, I feel like the thing is, we are Madonna. We adapt. We change. We have eras throughout life, people. My mom just made a photo album. Little story time. My mom made a photo album because the only photo albums we have, I'm like, young. She made updated photo album. And every single picture, I look like a different age, a different absolute everything, a different species, because I have an addiction to changing. My hair has been the same for two weeks. [01:05:58] Speaker A: I have to change it every other day. It's 04:00 a.m. And I'm changing something in my room. This furniture. [01:06:03] Speaker B: One thing about apartment one r is you're always going to hear the screeching of furniture being dragged across some hardwood floor at 03:00 a.m.. It's an evolution. [01:06:13] Speaker A: With the soundtrack of white Lotus season two. Cultural appropriation. [01:06:28] Speaker B: Is it? It might be. But the next time you are cleaning your house and you're done listening to all the episodes of apartment one r, put on the white Lotus season one soundtrack, do yourself that favor. [01:06:41] Speaker A: Are you really going to tell me that what I'm doing is putting my hand against my lips? I feel like I'm pretty good at that. [01:06:51] Speaker B: You are good at it. But I always say everything goes back to intention. If you're trying to make beautiful music and blah, blah, blah, whatever. But if you're like, look at me, I'm being a dumb Native American, then it's bad. [01:07:04] Speaker A: You're right. [01:07:05] Speaker B: It all goes back to intentions. And it's the type of thing that's obvious, and it's in the eye of the beholder. [01:07:12] Speaker A: What's the context of the situation? [01:07:14] Speaker B: What's the context? [01:07:15] Speaker A: What was your language? [01:07:17] Speaker B: Not only what was your intention, but how is it being perceived and received by the people in your circle or around you? [01:07:24] Speaker A: Right? [01:07:24] Speaker B: Those are the two parts of the equation. When you're asking yourself, is this cultural appropriation? Ask yourself, who am I talking to? And ask yourself, what is my intention coming from some dumb white bitch? So, you know. [01:07:40] Speaker A: Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. [01:07:43] Speaker B: Ooh, ooh. [01:07:45] Speaker A: I can't let go. I can't say goodbye. But I have to. [01:07:48] Speaker B: No, let's not say goodbye. What pisses you off? What pizzes you off? [01:07:54] Speaker A: Wait, what's the song? Say good night. No, I don't know. [01:07:59] Speaker B: But we can't be copyrighted by singing lyrics. We've already got away with too much this episode when it comes to lyrics. But today we talked a lot about poetry. And there's a lot of singer songwriters out there who I believe are our nation's great poets at the time. So, big shout out to Lana Del Rey. Miss Elizabeth Woolridge Grant. We love you. We support you. [01:08:22] Speaker A: Oh, my God. I feel like we're just like Lana. [01:08:24] Speaker B: We are like Lana. [01:08:25] Speaker A: We're white trash like Lana. [01:08:27] Speaker B: We're white trash. And we belong in Hollywood. [01:08:30] Speaker A: And we're persistent. [01:08:31] Speaker B: We dabble in cultural appropriation. [01:08:41] Speaker A: If you stay canceled, you get canceled. [01:08:46] Speaker B: Listen, mom. Mary girl, she done all right. [01:08:52] Speaker A: I feel like RuPaul will sue us. [01:08:55] Speaker B: Yeah. Want to know who you don't fuck with? Want to know who you don't fuck with? Miss Disney. You don't fuck with Disney. [01:09:00] Speaker A: You don't fuck with Disney. [01:09:01] Speaker B: You don't fuck with. [01:09:02] Speaker A: No. [01:09:03] Speaker B: She'll come for you in a heartbeat. [01:09:05] Speaker A: She's running at you with a knife. She's behind the curtain in your bathroom. [01:09:11] Speaker B: For the viewers that don't have the Patreon exclusive that aren't getting the footage. All right, we're going to wrap this episode up. I love you. We're getting into spring. Spring is sprung. Ariva Derche. [01:09:30] Speaker A: What does that mean? Bye.